Being like Jesus is such a tricky thing ..

Being like Jesus is such a tricky thing, which is odd really, because Christians seem to sing about it most sundays, and even shout out "we want to be like you, Jesus!" And whilst I know this is a judgmental observation, there doesn't seem to be an awful lot of understanding about what that means, let alone attempts to be like Jesus. In fact on the whole I get the feel - and yes, it's a judgment thing again, it seems like there is a desire for the comfort or consumerism of God-stuff than an attempt to go Jesus' way.  Yes, I know, the goal of every Christian should be to be like Jesus, but ..., and as our college pastoral lecturer famously and unforgettably once said, "it's a big but(t)!"
.... If I'm to be like Jesus, then I just don't know if I can be precisely like Him. I'm honestly not sure if the Jesus of the scriptures that I read about in say the Garden of Gethsemane, where he tussles with his will and Father's will - and incidentally, his disciples cannot stay awake and pray with him; they shall we say "cannot go his way" and be precisely "like him!" And when I read about the passover lamb - Jesus, in Isaiah 53 - "He was despised and rejected of men ...." [that bit] (as in the Messiah), I'm even less sure that I can travel such a painful way. Does that make sense? Right now, as I write this, I feel like I am betraying Jesus - does that make sense too?
In the end this is all about Jesus the suffering servant, and the way of grace. That's what this is all about - probably! You see Jesus gave himself totally and utterly for the sin of the world upon the cross to die this agonising death. I'm sure that humanly he didn't want to, but as God there was only one option. The sinless lamb had to be sacrificed as an atonement. And Jesus so readily served others in his ministry. But can we be like that? Can we be like him? Of course, that's a lifetime goal.
But this journey of grace in us is a tough one. Let me unpack that: learning to be graceful, patient, merciful, forgiving - and loads of other Galatian 5 fruit stuff, that's just so not easy. I can do it when the pressure is off of course, then it's a kind of thing that begins in my head, T's off to the heart - "that would be a good thing to do", and eventually leads to actions - and wow! That was good! But from the heart, that's a real tough ask. From the heart where it becomes "second nature" (interesting phrase) or should that be "first nature"? Where it becomes automatic.
Now of course we are in the new world of boundaries and what is acceptable and what is not. In many ways these are extremely helpful tools that counselling, coaching and team skills (etc) have so wonderfully taught us. In other words, there are limits to how much we can appropriately take, or give before we need to say that enough is enough, or something is unacceptable. I'm right there - these are so very helpful for everyone, especially those in people work, ministry being one of them. More often that not, these tools more than preserve people from being abused in all kinds of life, but sadly, not all.
But then you see you get this Jesus come along and as the "suffering servant" mostly defies all this boundary stuff. And that's where I ponder whether I can really be like Jesus? And "people" have this expectation of me as a Pastor or a Church Leader that essentially I am "ok" to take anything thats thrown at me. "Oh, he gets paid to do it!" (I'm both creasing up in hilarity and in tears of sadness right now.) Of course in one sense thats immaterial because that's not what this is about, it's all about our personal worlds: "Us" as disciples, and whether we can really go the way of Jesus, rather than anything else.
Over the years I've read account upon account of people who are just so much more graceful than me, and seem to demonstrate far more vividly what all this "stuff" is really all about, which is grace. It crosses my mind that this journey of  "going the way of Jesus" is indeed a lifetime journey. As a slight personal encouragement but not as one of pride, I hope I am a little more graceful than in my younger days, but let's not get stuck there and pass swiftly on! And ultimately I am that way because of the painful and challenging parts of life that I have been through. This is, as one person describes, "divine sandpaper" where God puts us into situations where it is the exact opposite of our nature, to teach us and change us. That over the years the divine sandpaper begins it's at times painful lesson of smooothing off our sharp edges, until one day we get to the lower grade sandpaper, and then it's all just about buffing!
So yes, this being like Jesus is such a hugely tricky thing. In one sense "no" we are not to be like Jesus in that we never ever place our feet in his exact footsteps. That's just not possible. But in another sense, "yes" we have no choice but to go the way of Jesus.

On a different planet

I realise that I haven't blogged for ages, so this is well overdue. And looking back at the last one, I see that I was embarking upon a Gym phase, which i need to state right now was really good and wonderful. And yes, I did go regularly and felt better as a result. But my GP referral phase (which I had requested) came to an abrupt end, and that was that. It's ironic that it was doing me so much good - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, but that I honestly cannot afford £15/month or £180/annum. It just doesn't fit into a family budget. There is something to reflect on here: the gym made me feel better and perhaps less likely to be in need of medical care in the future, and be any burden to the NHS, but to do so you have to be, in all probability, earning near to £40K/annum to afford it, because lets face it, this is percieved as an extra and for those he can afford it. I have always justified that God has given the open air, the hills and paths to run on, so I'll take that as a freebie. Mind you, as a regular visitor to the osteopath, paying £30/session and going say 6 times a year, the gym would strengthen my back and there would no need for the Osteo?!
The last "review" session with my gym trainer was a chuckle, where he said he would see if he could swing something with his Manager for the diocese. "Yes, Yes" - I responded, wondering what that meant in Baptist terms.
So to the title - "On a different planet" which is a term of warm assessment for those who seem disconnected from reality. Well it comes home to roost! Because this week I did it again! Yes, I accidentally filled up my Diesel car with a small amount of unleaded, and well .....the rest is ....kind of embarrasing. I last did this about 10 years ago - maybe, on the way to my Dad's 80th party. And then I said I'd never do it again. In mitigation, I was nicely relaxed and in fairly detached reflection. I had had a busy 2 hours, and my plan was in my head: get a Costa, fill up at the same petrol station, and only enough until I get to a supermarket where I could then fill up with cheaper diesel. But something was happening deep in me, and I wasn't there. I also need to say that our other car drinks unleaded, so when I fill up with that its the green stuff, when I'm in this car, it's the black stuff. So now I'm waiting for the heavy bill.Oh and one other thing, when I called my breakdown company, and said "oh I know what I've done, I filled up with the wrong gas!" That was it, they said they couldn't rescue me because it was my own fault. Thanks guys! So that cost me a £100!

Finally, some observations that are not unique, it happens to all of us. My mother has finally put our family home on the market, and it's the right decision for her having just turned 80 years. But of course it has the deeper pull of being more than bricks and mortar: that was our home for certainly 45years, and it goes even deeper because Dad built it. So there are deep emotions and memories. Remembering the games that were played, the windows broken, the concreting, the gardening, the friends that came round, the flooding from the dishwasher and the the washing machine, the train room, the parties, the noises and smells, the illnesses, the laughter and tears, and so it goes on! I cannot say that it is anything less than painful, and yes emotional. We even have an array of all of our feet shapes set in the driveway concrete - that will have to come with us!