Wednesday 14 December 2011

Looking back, Looking forwards

I'm not sure what the pschology of "the end of the year thing" is about, it's not logical!
After all, unlike our computers with their recycle bins, it's not possible to drag and drop everything from the past year into the recycle bin and be done with it .... or, Christologically speaking, is it?

But for the moment, the former mind set is working on me! and I can't wait for this year to end because it's been one of the worst for me! Oh I know there have been some good moments too, but predominantly the feeling is one of this being an "Annus Horriblus" to quote royalty.
The end of the year is a staging post of course. A moment to pause and reflect and we've managed to make a whole market out of the new resolution mind set. And the whole gym subscription community goes into overdrive in January to compensate for the over indulgences of the festive period.
But yes, I'm looking back, and I shall look back on my blogs too. On Dec 31st and Jan 1st, I shall want to be somewhere where there is some sea and the wind is howling and the sea thrashing about and then I shall quietly make some prayers of letting go, some confession and repentance and some covenant promises to God for the new year.
The covenant words of the Methodists have this wonderful depth that does not buy into prosperity or comfort, but simply asks God to travel with us:

"Put me to what you will; rank me with whom you will. Make me lower, make me higher. I freely and gladly yield all things to you...."

I shall also try to reflect and learn lessons from 2011 and try to change so that my character and lifestyle will be different. I can only change when I want to, and when God's Spirit assists me of course.

So, 2012 may, God willing bring a deeper, wiser, more graceful discipleship experience, through whatever may be thrown at us, and at me. The wisest comments made to me in 25 years of ministry and near to 30 years of Christian faith, have all been about grace and mercy: showing it, exercising it, receiving it.

As to the future, well all the signs are that we are in for a rough future as a country - ovbiously economically, but the out working of this is beginning now to be fully realised in all aspects of life and community. If ever people needed hope and faith and a God who can change their lives, this is the time. There is a season then, ahead of opportunity and mission for all who name Christ as Saviour and for the church that bears it's name.

Thursday 1 December 2011

The power of Hi-Viz

I've decided that we should all wear high-viz stuff ...maybe! When my wife Claire bought me this marvellous high viz orange cycling top earlier this year, I've pretty much worn it on every day. And it's great - really does the job. I cycle in it, jog in it and even use it as a casual weather jacket kind of thing - well you know what I mean, I hope. It's so good I've even been stopped in the street and asked where someone might buy one...I don't know, try going shopping!
But the thing I've noticed is that high viz is the new official status. I have observed that people seem to momentarily stop and think who is this? It seems I can be a council employee, a refuse collecting technician, a security guard, a police man; the possibilities are endless, and what strikes me is that in the mindset of our world today, high viz is the new kind of attention status. And when you think about it, thats what the naff world of Health and Safety has done to us. It seems that whatever you do these days that might be the slightest prone to any kind of accident, however small, requires a high viz vest. So you now see everyone and anyone wondering around our streets with high viz waistcoats. The world has gone high viz mad. The secret is that you can pull off miracles in the new high viz world - add a hard hat and you become some kind of surveyor or technical person. Add a clip board and you become someone official who is going to take notes and that means consequences. Add a hair dryer and you become someone who is operating a speed camera and thats bad news. Add a slow arrogant official PC plod kind of walk and flip, you're in real trouble! It seems that with high viz we can pull off anything that we want to send someone into a different kind of subserviant set of responses.
I'm still reflecting what this all means for a Christian Minister - might we have high viz clerical shirts and collars. Perhaps dog collars with built in red or amber directional lights saying "slow" or "pull over" of maybe a full liturgical data bank of flashing words that says "Lord in your mercy, hear our prayers!"

On a different tack, I went to my first proper official School Governors meeting last night and what caught my eye was something in the standing rules of the governing body, which I thought was rather good. There is a line that says, "We will operate in a friendly and informal manner commensurate with effective decision making...." And I like it! And I thought to myself that we would be well placed to have in our Baptist Church constitutions a line that says this exact same sentiment! Here is one example where our society is ahead of the church. Why? Do we in church assume that everyone will know how to act and behave and speak at meetings, if not do we teach it, and if not, why not? Because on this alone, the church of Christ needs to take a big lesson from the non-churched world on how it should act and behave. This gets my vote for the new latest model trust deed of the Baptist Union!

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Deep

Flat as a pancake today! They say blogging is dangerous when you are in this state, so I am being careful today. But I may zig-zag the route a bit.

In the past 24 hours my mind has been on the scriptures of James chapter 3 - a real challenge for all.

I find being a Pastor in Christian ministry provides a fertile piece of ground to go to the very depths of despair and depression some days. I don't feel the personal freedom because of who I am as a Pastor to go around indicating to folks that that is where I am in these moments as that feels like some kind of attention seeking or quazi sympathy school. Maybe it just about being male?

I find that none of this is helped by people's perceptions and expectations of Pastors. I maybe wrong but there seems to be an entire spectrum of expectations that span the entire wavelength. No human can match these. I have learnt to my cost in 24 years of Christian ministry that people pleasing is the motorway to oblivion. God pleasing is the only appropriate target for Christian leaders, and thats why we are never paid a salary that suggests that we are employed, but a stipend that is to enable that God defined ministry to take place. God pleasing is by the way hard enough! The two are entirely different concepts.

I have learnt too that whatever I do in ministry it will be wrong - never right, in the eyes of humans. Pastors are effectively "dammned if they do and dammned if they don't" and we are rarely told that we are doing a good job except by the tiny few who are willing to stand with you (God bless such wonderful people) in this in what feels at times like a Schizophrenic vocation. All of the rubbish that gets thrown at us over the years (and whenever we meet in our fraternals the reports are generally the same from each of us in different churches) by those who think they have some divine right or window on heaven! Those are the things that make me personally want to leave the church of Jesus and go and live by the sea in peace and quiet merely looking after the family and walking along the beach everyday!

Some people think that Pastors are somehow equipped with Star Trek like shields that let "stuff" go over them or bounce off. Here's the truth - that a complete fictional untruth!

At the end of the day, Pastors are just humans with feelings, vulnerabilities and struggles who have been trained, equipped, tested and recognised by the larger church, not just the local, who are seeking to humbly do God's will.

So today I am flat. But God has spoken to me, but I am yet to rise. As I walked home from the school run and looked at the Somerset Hills, the verse of Psalm 121 hit me again - "I look to the hills, from there comes my help..." When I got home and forced myself to follow the Northumbria Community prayers for today, the first part of the reading was the completion of Psalm 121. Thank you Lord!

I'm still flat, and rushing out the deep is not something I can do. I have learnt that I have to travel. So today I should jog or cycle, but I will clean the house, iron the laundry, listen to some deep music to capture my soul.

Yesterday I was at a funeral in Weymouth by the way, of a World War 2 war hero, a friend of my dad's back in the village I grew up in. I took my dad and mum to the service and held dad's hand through most of the service. I wasn't sure if dad really knew where he was, but we were there. They were glad to have gone, and they saw lots of old friends. Life moves too quickly and getting old is not a joy, but a struggle for many.

Friday 18 November 2011

Staging Posts

Well blow me down, some weeks go by when there are no blogs, and then four come along in one week! 'Tis the old London Bus syndrome!
But this I have learnt in the short time of blogging - don't blog when you can't and if you have nothing to say, but do if you do.

I have been reflecting over the last day about who I am and where I am, as a Disciple. Then walking home from the school run this morning I thought - ah yes, its my WBC anniversary soon isn't it? So a quick check of my diary reveals that sure enough, next week brings 10 years of being Pastor of Wellington Baptist Church.
I used to announce this truth every November to the church but stopped doing it about 4 years ago, because it no one ever made any comment about it, so it seemed rather pointless and that was kind of fine for me, kind of! I know other Ministers who really make a point of celebrating such moments and have BBQ's and parties - sounds very thrilling and elaborate and I'm somewhat envious to be honest.
But 10 years is a significant moment, and it has got me reflecting on other key moments and what I have learnt and asking whether I have changed or progressed.
So here goes: 10 years in my current church and 10 years in my previous church, which is to be accurate just over 10 years since being ordained into the Baptist Ministry. Then four years of training before that, and then a little before that I ceased being an Engineer in the Mechanical and Production disciplines. So thats 24 years of being in Christian Ministry.
The big question for is how I have grown? Has it been good growth, or bad?
These are my thoughts: Spurgeon's College gave me a degree in theology and one or two very superficial pastoral insights, and it kind of forced me into the spurgeonic tradition of preaching. It also enabled me to begin to think critically and also equipped me in a small way for baptist leadership. Yet Spurgeon's didn't give me spirituality and didn't equip me practically in the ways of church management or to a great extent pastoral care. And to be honest, I have learnt most of what I am now from 20 years of sometimes joyful, but mostly hard and challenging experiences. They say that your first church and the experiences you have within it, shape your whole outlook on ministry. And, I would say that is probably truthful.
In my first church I(we were married only after my first year) and we had some extremely painful experiences. Now whether the rights and wrongs of those occasions, is not the point, but I reflect back and think to myself that my reactions at the time, which really were of desperate hurt and of not coping with what was happening to me, with no pastoral support from the then local association leader, has to all intents and purposes shaped the way that I am as person, a husband and father, and as Pastor today. I so wish, even now, that there had been pastoral support to reflect through what was taking place, because I am sure I would be the better person for it now. And that makes me think ....experiences ...good and bad, they do shape us. If we at all honest, we can allow experiences to shape us badly or well. We can bury the hurt and walk away and just put it down to experience. But if we do that we can develop unhealthy emotional and behavoural responses whenever we find ourselves in similar situations. And, we can even see ourselves places protectionist measures in place, (or reactions) which again seek to protect us from the vulnerability of ever being in those places again.
In short,the experiences from which I claim I have learnt over 20 years, have not all been good experiences, and therefore the lessons learnt may actually be wrong or inappropriate (or even un healthy)lessons learnt. I'm not being specific here about myself, but generalising for all. At those moments of pain and difficulty we need wise, honest and healthy reflections, because actually they will then shape how we are today and react in the circumstances of today, in similar situations. Still with me?
So I assess myself 20 years on as a Pastor, 24 years on in Christian ministry and 29 years on since becoming a Christian: I'm still here for starters. Life is often a struggle, I feel a sense of loss of joy often and often feel discouraged, and this has been for me one of the worst years I can remember for numerous reasons. I even get emails and letters to supposedly help me in the full experience of discouragement!! God bless them. I am still growing in the school of hard knocks and I am having to unlearn some of the things I have learnt in 20 years, and even unlearn some of the things I have learnt in 45 years of life. My wife and my children and showing and teaching me things that I never knew I needed to learn, and God is graciously placing his finger on as yet unredeemed parts of my life. And above all else, middle age is not all that its made out to be!
I have a book of encouragements where I paste letters and emails and cards that encourage me, and I also have a place on the pin board where I "pin" naff and unhelpful communications sent to me.
But this I know: "we put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonour, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known yet regarded as unknown; dying and yet we live on; beaten and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything."
God bless you in your journey!

Tuesday 15 November 2011

Heading home

Heading home today and looking forward to it. Mind I'm looking forward to the train journey too - a rare delight.
Council has been quite an experience this time around. There is a distinct feeling - maybe its just me, of change ahead. That maybe things will never be quite the same again - understandably so, necessarily so. As I blogged yesterday, this - it seems, is not easy for most of us at Council to digest emotionally? spiritually? Yet as I have said in recent months and days to various folks, it seems like a number of paradigm shifts are ahead in Christian ministry. The question is, can we understand them and surf them?

Slightly worrying about the european news this morning. Mild alarm bells beginning to ring in my head about when Germany gets left to be the dominant european force. Don't want to say anything more about that, but surely it's in our minds?

Have managed to get a few bits of written work done in the last few days; only so that they are begun. I have a leaders evening this Friday and then a sermon to prepare, completing my series on "A life in the day of ..." with a preach from the genealogy of Jesus, in Matthew's Gospel.

I have bought a 2nd hand monitor on ebay for my office computer - my existing one has been showing duff behaviour. But I cannot put off the major heart transplant question much longer, which is that I need a need computer at the office. I have always financed my own, and I guess 10 years of use on this PC, even with jumped up memory, brings it now to the end of its useful life.

A council with it's own mind? Reflections of day 2 of Baptist Union Council

I am enjoying this Baptist Council much more than on previous occasions, perhaps mainly because of the conversations i am having one to one with other Council delegates. Maybe it's like this, that you take a year or so to get into the mindset of council, before you are accepted by others? Who knows. Or maybe because I have openly and honestly spoken now on two occasions -:

Firstly on the death of the Baptist Times (a sad moment) and a seemingly default direction to make everything electronic. In my "book"(note) we are not yet in an all electronic world, and the question I have is who in the future will report on Council. Who will reflect the debate and dissent? If it is to be from within the Union's resources, I beg to question whether the fairness of differing views will be reflected.

Secondly, in the session today on Union finance. It is a fact that the deficit in 2011 in the BU finances will be one million pounds. That within the first quarter of the year HM giving began to decline. By October it was down to a £47K drop. It is expected that in 2012 a similar deficit will be likely. So two years with a 1 million deficit. The record books show that a 1 million deficit is the largest the Union has ever faced, so in two years?! But, apparently, we have reserves to cope. But sharing today I stood up to represent our church's position and to say "there is no more money". With the local church now paying £4K each to pay off the pension deficit the space for flexibility no longer exists. It seemed momentarily that we were reflected as the odd exception, not the rule, yet the conversations I have had with others here away form the meetings is that this is far from the case. Many more churches are either where we are or rapidly heading our way.

So how are people responding to this? With shock - yes! With wisdom - maybe? Uncertainty - for sure? The way forward is to some extent obvious (at least for all accountants) - reductions in the size of the Union, better more effective ways of working. Will that be based at Didcot? Who knows. These are not decisions that can be delayed, and the need to make important decisions is now. Can the enormous tanker ship which is Council slow down quick enough to turn the corner fast enough and head in a new direction? Certainly, in some people's books, certain cuts are already obvious and should be acted on as soon as possible.

Yet Council is reflective and a little (shall we say) moody? Wisdom and guidance were prayed for by our Chaplain, and the invitation for the Holy Spirit to sweep through our gathering and to have his way were made. So, gatherings like this are less predicatable maybe. Certainly not all decisions have defaulted to the recommended place of the moderators and their forums. This visually is leaving a few to scratch their heads and be quizzical.

What strikes me most about where we are is that what is needed is clear leadership. Yet I am uncertain as to whether we have that. There is a feeling among some baptist Christians that council or the church meeting is not the place to give directional leadership, that somehow "stuff" should be left to flap in the wind and that then we will find God's mind and will. Yet I feel that if we had a bigger picture about where we headed and had more directional leadership we would be more able to have confidence and more willing to follow.

Time is a ticking. The bulk of the council's deliberations are over and soon, tomorrow, we will be heading home.

An uncertain Council

All the usual suspects are here - some known to me, others by reputation. I still feel something of a shrimp at times, in what seems like the start of the my second year of Baptist Council. I feel I have travelled a worthy induction: nodded here and there, said one or two things with knees a knocking. But I'm through that now. And this council feels different to me. We are essentially in something of crisis: a wopping deficit, but apparently we can handle that. But in these days you would expect that. No, there is more here in the under current, it would seem. Change is being cried for from a number of directions. Structural change. A smaller council? A smaller union? A reduction in the size of Didcot? A reminder that the heart of baptist life in the UK is the association life - that came first.
There are of course the typical line up of positions: 1) the stay as we are camp and it will go away. Don't panic. 2) the "this must change or else" camp. It is not possible to continue this way. 3) probably something of change required, but the norm is good.
As for me, I find myself with a different primary focus this year. On my mind all the time is my own church and its 2012 budget. Our drastic cuts to balance the books for next year is in my thinking all the time. A massive £20K reduction or thereabouts. That is what is driving me perspective of council. And my line to the BU - and any of its fine departments that want more of my churches money is: "there is no more, we are drained, we have no reserves!"
Yesterday saw the start of those realities - the end of the Baptist Times next month. Change is now, and it is challenging.

Monday 31 October 2011

Dilemmas

After a busy and tiring half term (try not to loose your sanity with 2 boys watching Tin Tin), and I am kind of "daunted but delighted" to return to normality - whatever that means!
So I thought I'd share a dilemma and a few other things of a misc nature this morning.
The dilemma is one that I thought I could bury my head in the sand on, and hopefully it would vanish eventually. Alas, not. The challenge is this - my oldest son, who is deperate to go and play rugby at the local rugby club on a sunday morning. It's where some of his school friends are after all. And more to the point, he's actually quite good at my favourite game and has alot of potential.
But the dilemma is obvious: I am a Christian and a Minister, and perhaps of all people should hope and expect my son to be in church on a sunday. Perhaps the fact that I am a Minister, is in this instance an irrelevance for most. After all, other families struggle with this issue too, but well I feel that in the gold fish bowl of being a Ministry family, that we are often, rightly or wrongly, "looked at" in some kind of special way. But what will people say or think, and in the end .. "am I bothered" what people's opinions are?
But our dilemma is this, if we say "no" then we risk causing resentment in my son and putting him off church and God and all of that for the future. And the recent mail out from Care for the Family on "how to get your kids through church without them hating God" kind of cuts to the very core of the issue. Whatever else, we must not constrain our kids into church if in the end the become resentful. They must want to be there, and I think he will do so if we respond in the right way.

Now I have some baggage here: when I was young I wasn't given such opportunities becuase of "the alcoholic nature of these rugby occasions, you know". In the end I did play for a club, but not until my mid teens, but in those days life was completely different in many ways.
And ofcourse, the lure of Sunday morning sport is very high; in many respects they appeal to a similar middle class client base as the churches do, and are arguably much more successful! Also these days, let it be clearly said, state schools are no longer properly running sport in the way that we used to enjoy when I was young. You could pretty much guarantee an hour of sport per school day when I was growing up, and the school rugby team was "the" team to belong to, and I spent probably most of of my school years captaining the 1st teams, at Sherborne and at Hardyes, before finally playing for Puddletown Rugby Club. Now at schools, there is at best a tiny nod towards something after school, and then only with no physical contact "in case someone gets hurt you know!"
And I think my son has potential and gifting, and all it would take is some coaching and discipline and his sporting life and poential would suddenly open up.

So, what have we decided? What did we do?

Ah well, we compromised ....for 2 Sundays a month he can go to rugby, but he must choose which they are, and we will not budge on any more sundays!
Were we right? Have we made the right call? I hope so, but we tread in the footprints of many a parent who has gone before!

Moving on to other stuff .... I cannot but cringe at what I see going on outside of St Paul's Cathedral in the anti-capitalism camp. When I was at Spurgeon's I spent some time in study on Liberation Theology, driven by what I had heard from preachers of the 80's like Tony Campolo. This I know, God is on the side of the poor and the oppressed, and no less so in this instance. If ever there was a golden opportunity for the state church to stand with the new poor, jobless, and deprived, this was it. They didn't have to sell out their values or somehow agree with everything that was being said, but they just had to stand with them. If they had - and they still might, I believe the church of England would have found a new credibility with a generation that has predominantly dismissed the church as being not for them!

So Christmas rushes on! Ugh! Sorry to mention the big C! I kind of had moments in the half term holiday of thinking "oh goodness, this is the calm before the storm", not because of Christmas, but because of all that is in the build up to it: numerous saturdays spent doing this or that church conference or event. So, its "grit the teeth time" and maximum effort is required to stay ahead on the planning and preparation.

Wednesday 19 October 2011

Looking for Leadership and stuff

Well since last week - I think, and my talk of escapism, I've gone and watched with 20 other men "Johnny English" and just laughed my way through it. What was best was that the opportunity to switch off and enter a different world - albeit for an hour or so, was so refreshing. I did the same last night watching "Spooks", though to be honest I'm beginning to struggle with an unrealistic storyline!

Last week I touched upon the fact that ministry is changing. The economic climate is producing some quite challenging new ways of surviving. This is in no way something that is unique to me, but is being experienced right across the country. Churches are having to change too. And if churches and ministers are changing, so too must the superstructures that support both these players. That will mean - in my view, Baptist Associations, and most of all "The Baptist Union" - aka Didcot, aka HQ! The question - which we were debating in car journeys last year and early this year, of "Whether the BU can stay as it is" - is probably now yesterdays question. Time has moved on, finances have changed, because it has done for churches and ministers already! No, the new question is not whether change at the BU are required, but surely now it's an urgent question of "what must it change into?" And, it's at times like this, that real visionary national baptist leadership is required. These are no longer days for shaking hands and appearing in pictures and saying things that everyone expects you to say, but time to roll up the sleeves and set out the vision and direction for the future of the Baptist Union of GB. Not to do so in my view will produce death (we are already stagnating!, and are already well into decline).

And I would take a bigger view than just a baptist one. The tribal church structures in the UK are already quaking. There are now numerous crossover lines between Anglicans and Methodists, Baptists and URC's and Pentecostalists. Of course some want to hold on to tribe distinctiveness, and I understand that, but I sense that there are ways through these issues. The way I see it is that the long standing agreement of Methodists with the URC's is well and truly dead, and the new agreement with the Anglicans is one that should be grasped. The emptying out of many Church of England Priests to go to Rome, now leaves the CofE struggling. Combining with the Methodists is the only way. As to us, well the URC's argue that their plan was always to unite with someone else. I think that there are now numerous crossover lines with Baptists. But don't stop there, the breadth of the Baptist flavours within charismatic wings, surely allows for a formalisation of uniting of some Pentecostalists with Baptist Union Churches.
Of course, I leave many out of my quick sketch - The Roman Catholics for example. Well surely it will not be long before the revolution against single Priests will occur, and the married priesthood become a reality. if it doesn't, expext further transition there. And as to the so called independents or house churches, as we used to call them - well, I have no easy answer there.

But to get back to the thrust of what I'm arguing for in Baptist Union circles - now is a time when we must see visionary leadership at the top within our Union of Churches. At the moment, I'm not seeing it!

Friday 7 October 2011

The times they are a changing

The economic blip is, as you well know, more like a non-returnable total wipe-out. There is, so it seems, no one who is unaffected. Politicians have been talking about recovery in "X" number of years time as if it will be say two parliaments worth, but I can't see it. History will put this and the last decade down as a major turning point in the global lives of billions of people and essentially all countries.
What I do see though is a realisation of this beginning to happen across the country. People are changing the way they are living their lives, working in jobs, and surviving. It's about being multi-taskers: working harder in several jobs - for less, making major and significant decisions about career and lifestyle - do we need a car? do we need to live in this house? Decisions that were thought unthinkable 5 years ago, are now real and on the agenda. It's no longer about complaining about your lot, but about adapting and getting on with it. Complaining about being tired is probably a common response, but it's about putting your head down and getting on with it. There is too the beginnings of a sense of community coming back - of being all in this together. This is going to take time to develop I think. Even the shops and firms you do business with are now desperate to do any deal. We are in the world of "no offer is too silly!" This, I observe, is the brave new world we are entering in to!

On another tack, probably a different one, maybe not, kindness and gentleness are it seems for a tiny minority, not a part of their kit bags. It is plain wrong to communicate with another on any matter in an offensive and upsetting way. Such an action shows up the real person for who they are. I think James in his New Testament letter had something to say about this - James chapter 3: 10 and 11. I just don't want to be a part of that kind of lifestyle and wouldn't wish anyone to be on the end of it.

And pondering something else - life for me is as busy as it has ever been. I have been hoping to establish my term time rotuine - this day that, another day that - and the same each week. But I've never had so many different things going on, and many of them challenging. I've not had for 3 years so many funerals to do or visiting to do, or preparation of talks and sermons, and my administration is increasing. What I find most challenging is the need to be on top of, and stay on top of my diary. One day I think it's sorted for the week, then something else completely changes it. Factoring in time off, not too many nights out is a constant challenge.

Finally - escapism! I don't think I've ever heard anyone teach or preach on escapism, though maybe rest. I've reflected a lot about the need for us all to be regularly taken out of our hum drum life into a world of fantasy and to escape. For me, what often does that is either watching a film or reading a book. Films are great because all that "normal" stuff in my head is switched off, and I can somehow escape into this surreal world, and laugh and cry and for maybe 2 hours enjoy and be someone else. I suspect God made us all that way.

Monday 26 September 2011

So whose idea was that then?

Church is a strange thing! Not an individual church fellowship - though they are in this big bucket I'm describing - maybe yours? No, but the idea of church! Over the years I've seen - probably like others too, the joyful heights of a local church life; I've seen the grim depths of church life. And I've seen the week in week out hum drum monotony. And I can't help but reflect, often in fact, whose idea was it? And does it work?
It's one thing to merely surf the life of the local church and never go deep or never commit to below the surface in terms of becoming committed to a local church. There are plenty of folk in that boat. Nothing ventured, nothing gained or indeed lost - except that the loss is to the local church, where because people don't give themselves, and thus the local church is the weaker in terms of ministry hands on deck etc etc. And isn't it oh so easy to walk away when its nothing to do with you! I sometimes envy such a position and wish I could be there. Increasingly, this boat is growing larger in the UK, I think. Warren say's that the difference between being part of the congregation and being a part of the committed core of a membership!
And yet, I would have to say that below the decks of the boat - the place of committment where the work takes place in the local church, that it can at times be quite a challenging place. Its the place where we have to live together for better or for worse, with all our strengths and weaknesses, with all our hurts and wounds. And we do (that is to say in every local church) have the capacity to bless and build up, or to destoy and pull down. My theology lecturer used to say that what unlocks God's blessing is agreement, and therefore I guess what locks up or kills God's blessing is disagreement. Ouch! Trouble is, that they makes church risky!
I've often pondered at times whether we take church a touch too seriously, to the point where at times the stakes are just too high. And there is just some truth in that - are the expectations for the local church at times just too high? Often I hope and expect great things of the church, and come away dissapointed!
But then again, I've often pondered whether the response to that is the word "covenant". That people promise (another word for covenant) to walk together (in love and fellowship), committed to God and to each other, in the local church. Thats what I would describe as membership by the way.
To put it another way - to journey together. Being a part of a local church is about journeying together. Along the journey, the going might be rough and challenging, but we are journeying together, not as individuals.
And when I look at the bible, I find that actually this idea of church is God's. That the word covenant is sewn in deeply to the fabric of both old and new testaments. Of Christians journeying together for a common purpose, with a common faith. Along the way you grow together - in trust and faith and you learn lessons about God and each other. Journeying together, not seperately.
If that's what church is about, then it sounds good to me. But in the course of my life I've seen church function well and not so well.
It functions at its best when we are a people that bless each other and build one another up and above all are focussed on God's call to mission. I often see churches internalise and then the slippery slope appears! When we are focussed on God's purposes, it functions in health.
And yet, as I wrap up my drawl for today, I still have this nagging doubt! The bible ends with a picture of the church made ready for Jesus, and I'm not sure I see that bride made ready yet. Grief, we've a long way to go! But we are getting there, but we're still on a journey!

Tuesday 13 September 2011

The scary life of Hermeneutics

Tossing a posh word in like "Hermeneutics" always makes it sound as if you know what you are talking about! Well, you can fool some of the people, some of the time ... or however that quote goes.
Well, I know something of it, because "Hermeneutics" is the art or science or whatever, of preaching the Word of God. Something that I, like many of my brothers and sisters in ministry, do sunday by sunday.
And preaching - sunday by sunday, is from my perspective lots of things .... it's a call from God, it's a challenge to be careful and faithful to the scriptures, it's a honour and a huge and scary task to teach the people of God.
When I was at Spurgeon's between 88 and 92, the dreaded Sermon Class was at it's height. The experience was far from pleasant: each student had to preach and lead worship before the whole of the college - faculty and students, and then be led to another second lecture room (execution chamber) wherein two faculty critics and two student critics would then tear and tuck into you. And literally, they would pull no punches and sometimes with style and poetic licence and an element of drama, they would pulverise you into the floor, whilst the rest of the student body looked on. The final injustice was to then watch the video of it all with your college tutor, who supposedly picked out the good bits and attempted to put you back together.
Sermon Class was the event to be feared most in the 4 years of life of every Spurgeon's student. I am told that in the older days of Spurgeon's that it was even worse, for a student had to experience it twice - first having freshly arrived at college, and second in the 3rd or 4th year. But for those who are not ordained ministers, it is worth knowing that at least for Spurgeons trained ministers, that the road to becoming a preacher, has been painfully forged and tested, to arrive at the well expereinced scenario of preaching for some, maybe 3 times on a sunday, week in and week out.
For me, the practical truth of preaching is that some Sundays I will be feeling great and the sermon will be steaming, and other sundays - perhaps more often than I care to admit, i will completely miss the mark and produce durge and bore people to tears. I have learnt though the painful truth that the sermons I thought went well were rubbish (and to which many nice comments were made afterwards), and that sometimes the sermons that I thought were rubbish, sometimes were the best and blessed some people (and to which perhaps one or two comments might have been made afterwards). I have learnt that I have the capacity to bless or destroy, to hit the mark or miss it, more often the latter - to miss it! I have learnt that, despite my ego's desperate desire to feel applauded and appreciated with nice comments after a sermon, that many of them have little to do with whether God was present or not and so despite my pride, should be disregarded. I have also learnt that its not about a sprint, but the long distance run, that is to say that the faithful attempts to preach the word of God week in and week out provides a stable, healthy diet for a church family. I have learnt that preaching is all about presenting Jesus Christ, and not Sam Griffiths - I am not an entertainer or stand up comedian, I am to be a humble soldier of Christ. I have learnt that the bible will feed, regardless of whether or not I hit the mark - that scripture about the Word not returning void is vital, otherwise none of us stand any chance! I've also learnt that I have to prepare properly and that a good sermon needs a good days work, but that I cannot ever do it in a day, and that I will often need to let the sermon "cook" in my mind and heart, for it arrive ready to eat on a sunday morning. In short, I feel the awfulness of preaching, it's high calling, and I am all too keenly aware that whenever someone confronts me either by email, letter, phone or face to face, that however much it hurts me - and yes, it always hurts me deeply, that there is always a grain of truth in what it said. Above all else, I have learnt to please God and not people, and have at times been tempted and given in to pleasing people, more than I have God!

Thursday 8 September 2011

Events, dear boy!

Before I meander off on a few textual cul-de-sacs, I must share with you an amusing quote that caught my eye in a shop outside the church - as follows: "We can't all be stars, but we can twinkle." When I shared this round the supper table last night everyone sniggered, saying "was that twinkle or tinkle?"
So, it's back to the routine of life and the wonderful season of Autumn, though I must admit the build up of paperwork and emails from the summer kind of takes the shine off what should be an enjoyable period.
The year so far for me has just been a really awful one, seemingly of something or other, a difficulty or challenge, being thrown at me. These have not been minor glitches, but the stuff - at least to me, of real deep concern. I'be never had a year like it. Over the summer I decided that I would turn to Job and read his story. It's a pretty depressing account of one man and his family walking righteously before God, and then a correspondence from Satan to God to permit in his sovereign purposes for difficulties to come upon Job to test him. And difficulties come of such a magnitude that Job's life is over turned and is left with nothing, and yet still holds onto God.
Then follows a sequence of conversation with 2 or 3 side kicks of Job who some how taunt, albeit with subtle nuances, that Job should turn away from God. Yet Job partially holds onto his faith in God, and yet wobbles often in his perceptions of Yahweh. The book finishes with God facing up to Job and in his majestic authority questioning Job's right to even challenge why God had acted in the way that he had done. There is this long statement from Yahweh that simply questions Job's right to even be in any position to question why God does what he does. The final piece of text shows that God chooses to again bless Job, and he and his family prospers, but it is abundantly clear that this is not through any effort or achievement of Job, but from the divine and sovereign decision of God. Thus, the overriding strap line of the book of Job is summed up "The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord."
Now I haven't enjoyed reading Job, yet the objective reflection of the book towards me and my world of difficulties and challenges is that God is sovereign and will bless again. Job is tested and is not perfect, but his faith stays steady through the storms. I am not sure that I can say the same is true of how I react to difficult circumstances. In fact, I'm not even anywhere near Job's sainthood status.
And we are living in really challenging days, and I know that some who read my witterings in this blog are being challenged to the very core of their being. The world is being shaken to its foundations from a financial perspective, and the effect of this is so far reaching into those around us.
There are many things I can say, but I have no desire to sound twee or of that vomitingly annoying Christian world of easy answers. Many if not most situations do not have easy answers. So, I could mention faith, I could talk of keeping your eyes on Jesus and stuff like that, but what I have found is that the testing that I am experiencing is showing up what I lack, and where I am deficient maybe in character. I guess that's why James in his NT book says that the testing of our faith produces perseverance. And as today I step back from the brink, that is where is find myself. Yes, from this objective point, which I have not been able to be in for quite a few months, I can honestly say that the torch light of God has shone into my life through this testing and shown some big voids which need to be strengthened as a soldier of Christ. To see these I need wise and calming people and those who are willing to hold the tiller whilst I flap around. If you are where I am, then I pray that you too will know the God who blesses again, as I pray he will do again for me and my family.

Wednesday 20 July 2011

A medley of summer thoughts

Bit of a mix of various reflections this week:

Worship styles: I bought a bit of an odd CD this week, but one which I have been salivating over for a while - "Fisherman's Friends" - from the Cornish Fishermen based in the coastal town where they filmed "Doc Martin." And it's truly great: mostly sea shanties but with that wondeful male part singing and with vibrancy and guts. And at the moment I'm playing it everywhere. It reminds me that Worship in a church should be a broad spectrum of styles. To be completely frank, I for one would grow rapidly borred and yes, stale, if every week I went to church it was exactly the same thing played in exactly the same style. God is not tied down to styles of music, but refreshes us in numerous ways. I don't think that I am unique in having such a large spectrum of music taste in my upbringing, having sung in opera, choral society and choir when young, as well as listened to The Jam, Undertones, Cliff, Elton and oh so many I could continue. Lets keep that freshness in our worship of God!

Holidays & resting: whatever else we may do, holidays need to a part of life. A holiday should be defined as doing something different to what we normally do - on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. Not to do so would drive a person insane and burn them out. Whatever else, be refreshed this summer! Do something different!

What kind of church: I reflect that these days belonging to something is not in trend. Membership of anything is not in vogue and this is seen across all kinds of institutions and societies and the church is not exempt. However, at the heart of the kind of church I Pastor and belong to is the word "covenant" which is that sense of mutual committment to one another and to God. That's what sets apart the church from thr secular. Fundamentally this is about family. Am I apart of this or that family? That is one of those radical steps that is against the trends of today.

Half way: the summer is essentially half way, the sixth or seventh month, a natural pause point for many to look back and look forward to the remainder of the year. I reflect that for me, this year has in all honesty been a really hard year so far. There have been, it seems, challenge after challenge to face up to and deal with. I'm not going into here what those challenges have been, but they have been exhausting - emotionally and spiritually. I reflected last weekend how it feels personally to me: like the experiences of Job. Security after security taken away. Elsewhere this morning I have posted "when will the storms cease?" Will they? I so hope so.

The final Potter: and as a quick ps, I went to see the final Harry Potter film last weekend. and yes, it's all that it claims to be - but a quick gripe: 1) the emphasis is perhaps dominated onto the final battle at the expenses of all other aspects of the final book. 2) the "19 years later" scene is rubbish and a waste of time. The only one who pulls off being middle age and a convincing parent is Harry himself. 3) even the Gringott's scenes are hurried and generally the film seems to be in a rush to get to that battle scene.
A brilliant film? Well, not as convinced by that as some film critics are stating. So, what's next, I ask myself?

Tuesday 12 July 2011

Cult or real Christianity

We are living in days where it is becoming less and less easy to distinguish in the UK between healthy faith and cult type faith - and at this point, I'm not yet talking Christianity. Post modernism or relativism, has essentially taken - at least in the eyes of the non-religious, the uniqueness out of Christianity. To them, it is just another possible religious choice and well, "each to his own!" Christians don't agree on this of course, and would strongly argue for the uniqueness of Christianity, but for the unchurched, there is this mish-mash of faith. And we as Christians would say "Beware of the cults!" Cults are bad news because they hide the truth, and they are not of the truth. In the 60's and 70's there were an outbreak of cults across the globe and some were notorious in there stealing away of young people, or in other cases of mass suicide calls by their overall leaders.
But talking about Christian churches from this point onwards, in other words "within the Christian family of churches" we are now seeing in my view the beginnings of unhealthy churches where there is a high tendency towards cult like behaviour. If I remember my "other religions studies" of 20 years ago at Spurgeon's, there are a number of clear marks of a cult: 1)Strong control type behaviour from the overal leader: in other words, what he or she says, goes. And if you don't like it, you have a choice - comply or leave. In the worst case situations, the words of the leader are deemed literally to be the word of God. 2)Dress and behaviour code: there is a sense that there is only one way to behave and indeed dress. This is it, and if you don't conform you again have a choice - comply or leave. 3)A disconnection with all outsiders: there is a clear command set by the leadership to not connect in unity with any other groupings, because this group has the only clear truth, and to do so would infect the group itself. So any sense of Christian unity beyond the walls of that Christian grouping is straightaway shut down or discouraged or advised against. Again, in worst cases, its comply or leave again. 4) Worship style is narrow, and all the same all the time. This is the way that we worship and no other way is right. 5) A lack of overall accountability or indeed desire to be accountable to larger networks, tribes or denominations. Especially within leadership. Again, to do so simply allows the warped truth to be challenged.
I could go on - and there are other aspects worth considering. Some years ago (30+) within the Baptist Union a grouping was ejected from the Union for showing these kinds of marks. They were the Jesus Army at Bugbrooke in Northants. In the end, they returned as a changed, accountable and healthy grouping. And this goes to show that any grouping that, seemingly at first seemed healthy and mainstream can, very easily trip up over a few hurdles and become extreme.
Sadly then these cultic like behaviours are all to often seen in Christian settings. They shouldn't be, but they are occasionally displayed. And yes, I think I am seeing them in Christian settings and it is scary. I've seen them in traditional church settings where too much power is given to a single individual or where a leader is de=frocked or expelled and he goes off then to start off how own kind of religion on his own, with no one to answer to. And some of the so called new church streams can fall very easily into some of these cult like behaviours. Heavy shepherding and heavy leadership are ovbious signs. Frankly some of these situations are covers for spiritual abuse, and then thats a matter for the law. If we're honest, every individual or grouping can be prone to this. As my old theology lecturer used to say, we all have a tendency to over emphasise the argument. And where the original idea was good, it rapidly goes off the rails.
So scary days. Lets make healthy churches places where indidividuals can express themselves freely in the Christian faith and lets come across as transparent places with freedom to be the people God wants us to be. After all "it was for freedom that Christ has set us free!"

Wednesday 6 July 2011

Touch a piece of paper once only

This last week has seen me occasionally entering moments of tidying. I tidy the paperwork at home - the so called "in tray" (of death), and then I come to the office and today my desk(kind of) and then I spend time filing my emails (oh yes). I wonder sometimes what people might really think of me if they were to discover my system of filing emails. Essentially, i throw little out - ie, delete them. It's only spam and rubbish that gets junked. But no, I have a folder within a folder - in fact loads of them, all stuck in Outlook, and they go back over 6 years, easily. I have folders on everything from admin and suppliers, to mission events, leadership, and yes, a folder on everone in the church and the correspondence I have from them or about them. In defence of this seemingly manic approach to organising chaos, I would justify myself by saying that time and time again I am able to retrieve within seconds the appropriate piece of information upon a situation, person or whatever really. Well, ok, I am very sad doing stuff like this, but its survival to be honest. If I don't do it, then chaos will take place.
It's been a fair old speedy transition over these last 10 years from where things were still mostly paper, to now the norm being electronic coms. But in the day of paper, the rule was "touch a piece of paper only once!" In otherwords, make a snap decision to keep it or file it, and with the leaning towards junking it essentially! So in the split second of temptation on whether to "oh, yes keep it because ....." you have to be disciplined enough to throw it! The theory being that if really is important enough, it'll come back to you again.
Well I find it a challenge, hand on heart, in keeping up with it all. Then again, I see how some people organise their lives and to be frank, I'm streaks ahead on points. The interesting thing is this word "discipline." It is a discipline to sit down and deal with it all. We must! We have to! Now I know that in some cases it's all about how we are wired - our personality types. Some are "hang loose and it'll all work out" kind of people, and others are control freaks. But there is this discipline of simply sitting down and doing it. The connection between the word "discipline" and the title "disciple" is fairly clear to see. The disciple must be disciplined. A mark of spirituality and discipleship is discipline. Well that's a tough call and a real challenge for most of us, but the one thing we can't do is bury our heads in the sand and hope that it will all work out, because it never does.

Friday 17 June 2011

These are the days

It's been a while since I've blogged here and that's because one important law of blogging is not to say something if there is nothing to be said! But two random thoughts this morning.
First - the financial cuts this country is experiencing are now really hitting home hard to the ordinary people of the land now. You name it - and its gone up in price! Fuel, food, utilities - its all gone up, sometimes by above 10%. These are challenging days, and as a Church Pastor I've never seen this kind of thing before. I reckon my parent's generation must have seen this during and after the war, but my generation? No! This is a whole new world. From the position I have as a Pastor there are challenging days ahead and there are difficult days now. Seemingly and this is sad, the church for a few is low down on the priority list in terms of finances and across the land giving to the work of God is dropping. This in turn is making church finances hard to handle, and the days ahead are going to be really hard. I cannot express here my true feelings about this.
Secondly - and in brief, yesterday I met a man who really listened to me as a Baptist Pastor. It's a shame to say this, but it is - from my experience, true to say that that rarely happens for me in Baptist Ministry. I cannot remember when I was last listened to, deeply, in the way that I was yesterday. And then compassion and real feeling shared for me and to me.

Tuesday 17 May 2011

Manic street preachers - the horrible sound of the Gospel

I could hear him as I left the church office door, as I meandered down to pick up my pasty and head to the allottment. To be honest, I knew in seconds who it would be, and it was! It's never been a very nice sound (I'd seen and hard him before, but never spoken). People used to say to me as I trained for Christian Ministry that "people need to come under the glorious sound of the Gospel" and I used to smile and think "what the heck does that mean, maybe its secret code", but this was not glorious, and it didn't seem like the Gospel. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against evangelists coming to town, and I'm not against street evangelism, and I guess - in the right context, planning and build up, I'm not even against street preaching, but I for one don't know anyone who has personally come to faith through a street preacher, there and then, in location, so to speak.
Now, you need to know that I have a standard practice with street preachers in the town where I Pastor a church - I always go up to them, challenge them as to who they are and where they are from, and what they are doing. Then I follow up always with the phrase, "but we didn't know you were coming!" And today, in town, thats what I did. The man was shouting so loud: it's the kind of style I don't want to be associated with, and he was wearing dark "bible black" glasses, and as is usual, there's a wife in tow, sweetly smiling doing the paperwork. So I said "hello" to the shouting preacher, and he was so loud, he ignored me. So then I tried the dear wife - using the usual routine. "Oh, you'll have to ask him - "Peter"! So I stop him mid flow (thank goodness - peace at last) and I follow it through - "we didn't know you were coming". Then follows a typical set of responses I could have written in a book: who are you, I've had run-ins with other church leaders in this town, I've been angrily told to leave various near by towns - blah, blah, blah! But I take the gentle approach - "if you had told us you were coming, we could have been ready so that we could stand ready to disciple any who come to faith in our local churches." So, he thinks I'm on his side ..So I push forward with my sincere theology of evangelism - conversion is never only about evangelism, it's about discipleship. Never do evangelism without ready follow up mechanisms in place! I even tell him how many churches there are in the town - he doesn't know!! (to me, the fact he doesn't know is an insult and show's he can't be bothered and doesn't see Christian faith beyond the end of his own nose and his narrow experience). He doesn't even know what tribes (flavours of church - denominations) there are in the different styles of church! He listens, I suggest I raise his name at the next churches together meeting (I know what they'll say), and I tell him that in this town we work together in lots of ways - Anglican, Baptist, Methodist, Roman Catholic, House Churches. And then he rants about some churches being "not biblical" - he mentions "the toronto blessing" and how he's against it (I have his full measure now and know a good few churches where he'd fit in well - the dying ones!) and he would never work with some. So, we swap contacts and we end politely and peacefully. Interestingly, as I collect my pasty, he and his wife hitch up their bags and "leg it" down the street away from everything - fascinating! What was all that about?
Why share this? Well, some reflections: he said "we just go from town to town preaching the gospel." He suggests this is biblical. Actually it's not. Paul would for example, always ask the leaders of a town for permission, or he would find out who the wealthy folk were and speak to them, before ever starting mission. Actually, these guys who are not based in churches, doing local evangelism where they live are generally "dangerous" people and put more people off Jesus and the church, and I wish they would stay away. Then also, for me, and I am convinced that it's biblical - evangelism and mission are always relational! People need to know who you are and trust you. They need to talk with you about the weather and be asked about life and stuff, before ever you start talking the Gospel. And then, the Gospel generally smells and tastes good - it generally attracts because God is good and the Gospel is true and can be talked about - but not shouted by an angry man in dark glasses condemning this and that - if, you can actually hear what he is saying! And lastly, and I have learnt this over the years, that people generally know how broken, hurt and failed they are in their daily struggles - I rarely find people are attracted to "fire and brimstone shouting" that tells them how worthless they are. I guess, at best, it's a performance to watch and say "I've done that!" (kind of like going to the theatre or a rock concert), but people won't engage with such a performance because it's kindof theatrical.
But they might respond to a conversation about a warm, loving, merciful, healing God who created them and loves them and who showed the full extent of that love in being broken for them on a cross, and rising from the dead. He makes people fully human every day, and it's nothing to shout about!
Manic street preachers - please leave my town! Leave the effective evangelism and mission to us!

Wednesday 11 May 2011

Are we a denomination or aren't we?

So, are we a denomination or aren't we? And, does it matter anyway? I ask this question, because I've seen this now in several recent Didcot publications where they have used literally the word "denomination" and I've heard it said at BU Council. And the truth is, no! We are not. We are - and its in our title dear friends, "A Union of Independent Churches." Denominations are seen in other groupings - see for example Anglican, United Reformed and Methodists, although the latter might describe themselves as a Connexion. Why blog on this? Well if we are not one, please don't call us one. And we are not one, and its not even about being a technicality. For me, a denomination - when all is said and done, is primarily reflected in central funding, most of all in the stipend. Most Minister's being paid centrally. But the BU is not this. There are of course secondary issues - those of theology and practice, and even ministry [aka leadership] [aka hierarchy][nb "Senior Ministers" - lets not go there, these are not Baptist Principles either!]. But if that's where we are headed and its inevitable that we are heading there, then that's a different matter, and lets have the debate and discussions. But until that day, we are not a denomination! So don't call us one.
Why get "hot under the dog collar" about this? Well, because I think some would want us to be one, and see our national offices as being symbolic of an HQ or maybe even a command base. And certainly, in recent years many aspects of centralisation have become apparent - BU Council used to be in charge, but now it is the Trustees within the Council that are. More and more standards of good practice are being demanded of Ministers and Churches in how they to act, administer and behave, and all these are set in place by our national offices, and are of course a good thing. So is this a kind of inevitable "creep" towards denominationalism? Is it all just a matter of time, and before long we'll be there, either by the back or the front door?!
I hope not! For a start, our strength as a missional people lies in our independance and our inter-dependance. The Spirit of God is always at work in different ways amongst our churches bringing life and growth, which is why at our heart, in the statement of principle, "Each church is free under the guidance of the Spirit to discern God's will for them." The importance of the individual church, its members and its mission must never be underestimated - we have these or we have no Union! Centralisation is, as history often shows, the short road to bureaucracy, decay, stagnation and decline. And we see these things, I would argue in denominational structures. I think - and I pose these as questions, the time may be right to ask if this is where we are headed as a Union. Do we want less centralisation, and more focus on the local church and its association? Can Didcot resource the churches as a smaller outfit and at less expense? Do some need reminding that they key heart to the Union is not HQ, but the local church and its local mission and ministry?
But above all else, until the day comes that we become a denomination, please don't call us one!

Saturday 7 May 2011

Consumer Christianity

I feel today that I could write about many things - thats the dilemma perhaps about writing, and potentially blogging. But floating in the mind this morning is that subject of Consumer Christianity. Apparently, as I read in Dr Pat Took's sermon yesterday (President of the Baptist Union this year), there is an O2 advert doing the rounds that says "the world revolves around you!" Which, Pat says is the worst possible concept - how borring, and what an awful prospect! To have the world revolve around you or me. No! And I reflect that when all is said and done, Jesus has called us not to a bed of roses and a comfortable ride, but to a life of sacrifice, servanthood and committment. Now I suggest that those last 3 words - if they summarise discipleship, are for the most Christians - offensive and challenging words. Why? Because the gospel of consumerism - of comfort, easy rides and nothing too challenging, of - as the Burger King Adverts say - "having it my way" have been bought into by many. He is not a God that I can control or shape to suit, but he is a God who requires nothing less than my all - my life, my breath. For me, thats a tough call. Will I make it? Don't know! But he requires every part of my life - my thoughts, my energy, my finances and I could go on. Don't sign up to anything less!

Tuesday 26 April 2011

The equality of Ministry

I was pondering a few weeks ago an old, wearied ministry subject, that sadly rears its head every few years - the subject of women in ministry. It's been prominent in my mind because of a paper and subsequent discussion at Baptist Union Council - of which I am a member, where council affirmed the full inclusivity of all women for all ministry without exception, and lamented the times when churches of the union had sought to exclude. Now, the position of total inclusivity is one that I full support. Don't get me wrong - I've got the books on my shelf from all stand points, I've listened to many a talk, at one time taken a view that leadership was male, and followed a good few figures as their disciple on this subject. But, when all is said and done, I've come out of the end of the machine and I keep it simple! God gives his Spiritual Gifts equally to both genders and in no way seperates the gift of leadership away from the female gender. For me, at all levels of leadership, women are welcome in ministry. In fact, I have observed an awful lot of male only leadership teams and seen where they have completely mucked up an issue, sometimes a pastoral one, simply because the male only blind fold has kept them from seeing some of the vital other aspects of it, to make a good and right decision.
Now I accept that some try to be true to scripture and are fundamentalist and make their decision simply on the Word - which is only a tiny aspect of this subject and leaves out the huge exegesis and exposition to properly interpret God's will. So I understand this, but I simply don't agree with it. But it's the rest of the bunch - and I actually think this covers 90% of the gathered, who seem to say "no" because of their own prejudice or fear. For some, it even seems to be about ehri child hood, and something going wrong that has created a male only perspective. In the worst cases, this can come near to being bigotry and darned right sinful behaviour.
Above all else, these are yesterday's issues and the church would be in real, serious difficulty without the wonderful, quality and superb input, at all levels, of all women of God, in ministry!

Thursday 31 March 2011

The things that shape us

I was reflecting the other day about a draft set of Ministry Guidelines, as produced by the Baptist Union Department of Ministry, for how Ministers are to behave and act. My first reaction was to think that the same kind of thing should be drawn up for Churches in terms of how they behave towards their Minister. Many a church has scarred their Minister through an action or indeed lack of action, either by the few or the many. And, yes, I still think that. Then I started reflecting upon our recent church AGM, and in running through the annual affirmations of Treasurer & Secretary, I felt an inward and unnoticeable to all, vacuum of despair, because - to be blatant, I too felt I wanted to be affirmed, and the truth is that in the life of most churches, this never or rarely happens, unless its at your leaving party! And I guess that some of that is because being a church leader is sometimes, perhaps often, about being in a place where you cannot please everybody, and often cannot please anybody. In short, and I may be bringing up luggage here, but I'll say it anyway, its about not being appreciated and sometimes despised. And if Ministers are ever appreciated, they are never told so, but only ever complained to. The result? A sense of despair and discouragement that often results in good ministers leaving the ministry! Then, I did aanother final set of reflections - ok, so maybe its not healthy to do this kind of thing, but ..I started thinking about my first church and how I think its true to say, that your first church and the experiences you have, are what shape you and your future ministry. Was my first church a good experience? Yes, on the whole! The vast majority were lovely, wonderful, supportive people - and still are. But, as a new Minister just out of college, I never received a visit from my then Regional Minister - I only saw him once and that was at the induction. But I had some attacks that deeply hurt me and to some extent have never been forgotten. One when we were married - too much holiday you know, another - a vote of confidence over a non baptised prospective Deacon. Not nice! Painful! Sure, they shaped me, but did they do so for good? I don't know. These days, people still complain and winge, but its water off a ducks back now. Is that a good thing? I wonder?!

Thursday 24 March 2011

pleasing everyone

So I'm just back from 3 days of Baptist Union Council. This is a kind of synod for the Baptist Family of churches in the UK. It's been hard work - lots of listening and reflecting, voting and the making of occasional points to input in the debate. There can be up to 200 + reps from across the country & staff from HQ, but on average there are about 150 that make it each time. We meet twice a year - spring and autumn, and as well as all the hard work, there are a lot of laughs and lots of old friendships re-engaged. We come away somewhat dazed by the inevitable language, detail, mindset and style of council and attempt to re-connect with normality, but also in awe of all the hard work that gets done, the new ideas, the potential for growth, the hope and aspirations for the future, and grateful that as a Baptist Christian family, for all our weaknesses, God still uses our network or tribe of churches. We've had in places some challenging issues to think on, but God has been at work amongst us.
One little muse - should it get smaller, stay the same size, discard certain people who never turn up? Well, I reflect that if we in our church were to do that in regard to church meetings, then we'd be in real trouble! If we started in WBC to remove all the folk who never came to church meetings, and essentially reduce the potential number who could show up, we'd never hear the last of it! No, we'd never do that. But, as the saying goes "if it aint broke, don't fix it!" In my book, the more representatives the better, because then people and churches feel they belong. Remove these, and beware! It's not the quantity, but the methodology of debate and discussion that needs refreshing! I hope that careful reflection will lead to careful action!

Friday 18 March 2011

Off to war again then

So, today, Friday 18th March 2011, we're off to war again! As the United Nations affirm a no fly zone, so Nato begins its planning. Of course, as a country, we've been at war for the last 10 years or more.
The Western "Christian" world can always appeal to the Just War doctrine to affirm that this is just, right and godly action to take, given Gadaffi's actions.
Reflecting for a minute on the last few weeks - we have had earthquakes, tsunami and now nuclear devastation - and possible meltdown, and now we have war.
I heard it this week from a Christian who met with me - "looks like the end times is really kicking in now!" And to some extent, they may well be right. Jesus said almost word for word what we have seen - rumours of war, earthquakes, floods, devastation. And these he made clear would signal that we are in the end times. But some balance please! The disciples, after Jesus death, resurrection and ascension, also though they were in the end times. For them, Jesus' promise to return was not going to be long. It was if he had left the room for a moment and would be back in a jiffy! And the fall of Rome with its terrible martyrdom of Christians and fire and destruction of mighty Rome City, might have also indicated that Jesus was about to return. But he didn't and hadn't. And every generation has seen its own huge levels of devastation, and yes, the Christians of those times thought it was so bad that Jesus would be about to return. But he didn't. So, does that mean that Jesus isn't going to come back, and that the scriptures and promises are incorrect? No! But it does mean that we must be watchful, be prepared, and trust. It also means that we don't know when he will return, and for me - I love that scripture, that he will come as a thief in the night! I cannot say, nor can you, where we are in the heavenly schemes of the end times, and that isn't our concern. But that we are ready and prepared is.

Thursday 10 March 2011

Keeping the balance

The human being is always at risk of over emphasising the argument! That's not a quote, but my observation of life, ministry and well, stuff! That's why balance is important, and it applies to many aspects of life. Over emphasis can very easily lead to things being twisted - a narrow, distorted perception of the facts that, if not challenged, lead to serious diffculty. I remember this being demonstrated in a visual way once when I was Minister in Oundle, in the EMBA. The then Regional Minister, Peter Grange, brought one of those hanging play things that you put above babies cots, that are hung delicately together by cotton or the like. He displayed how if you give even the slightlest extra force onto one of the strings, then the entire play device is very clearly distorted, and out of line.
So it is with our theology; care is needed to keep balance. When theology gets over emphasised, distortion occurs. In church ministry settings too, aspscts of a church's life can be given inappropriate focus, then imbalance can occur.
Finally in our relationships - that area of life that we tiptoe around. Relationships are fragile - handle with care!

Wednesday 2 March 2011

A crossing place ministry

Yesterday I spent some time with one of our Church Members over a coffee just listening to what she was doing, day in, day out in her educational establishment. I have to put i like that because it would probably not be too clever to reveal her identity or where she works - too many hints already!
She is a Teacher, of sorts within a Christian educational setting, but working with those young people who find life just hard work and challenging. She is the kind of professional who would never inflict her faith on anyone, and yet God is using her in the daily hum drum of life to extend his Kingdom. It's not with loads of flashy lights or lots of noise, but the questions she is getting asked by her kids are mind blowing. The cross on the wall seems to start the conversations and questions, and this it seems leads to asking big questions about life, about the Bible, and about prayer. She is very hesitant to share anything and is almost unwilling to do so, lest she be misunderstood. She always begins her response by saying "these are my personal views", but then she shares her story. I am humbled at the power of the Gospel daily at work in this way and in numnerous other places too.

Wednesday 16 February 2011

What do I do?

It's an interesting question, "what do I do?" I'm sure its a question people sometimes ask, and can I be honest (I always am), its a question I sometimes ask of myself! Of course, I'm a Christian Pastor, a Baptist Minister, which in and of themselves carry with them many suggestions, job descriptions - biblical, but not always, of what people expect of me. If we take the bible alone, then some of the job specs are clear - preach, teach, encourage, pastor, watch over, disciple, evangelise, train and equip! Oh, well thats fine then! Trouble is, ministry is far more than that. Add to it administration - of which there is a lot, the 30 odd emails that I get each day, the need to stay organised, and planned. Then there is the school stuff I do, then the Ministers meetings that I have to attend, then all the stuff I do for Regional Baptist Ministry and then National Baptist Ministry. And then all those loony community and outreach ideas I come up with, then all the church ministry meetings I have to attend and prepare for so that I look as though I'm organised and know what I'm talking about! Before long, its crazy. To make no mention of the stuff i do around the church site like check and repair equipment, test fire alarms, move chairs. And then what about prayer and reading the bible, and what about my own family and marriage and home DIY and home finances and cars and garden? And what about me and doing the stuff I want to do, and staying fit and the hobbies that keep me sane and give me a life beyond the ghetto? In the end, its often all too much. I'm stuffed and find it all to easy to give up and be discouraged. Thats why I crave my monday day off and my saturday family time, and why I hate going out more than 3 nights a week. And most of all I just want someone to say "you're doing a good job, well done!" Well, its back to ministry then ....

Tuesday 8 February 2011

Cuts and the Big Society

Speaking as someone who couldn't wait for the demise of the last Government (can I say that as a Pastor?) I now find myself in something of a dilemma! The cuts (and lets face it, there is a new one every day now) which are very necessary seeing as the country nearly went bankrupt, are now potentially hitting at the key community policy which is the flag ship of Cameron's philosophy - "The Big Society!
Hey, we liked the idea. It was said that not many understood it mind you! But it rang bells with me because thats exactly what we are about with the Christian Gospel. In fact we are at the heart of "big society" and were there before Mr Cameron even dreamt up the title. The church has always been doing the big society! We are connecting, caring, pastoring, reaching out and loads more. Who knows, if the cuts keep coming, we may be the only ones left doing it! Or will we? Actually the cuts are beginning to effect us now too. If the government is careful, this could be one spectacular home goal. But I guess we shall keep doing what we have always done - which is to be Christ at the heart of our communities. we will continue to be the "Big Society". But that doesn't mean we can be take advantage of - government please note!