Thursday 26 January 2012

Seasons of the Soul

I am learning alot at the moment - it's the season that I am going through. I am learning what I need,or what God thinks I need, not what I necessarily want. The sociological difference of these two words is always very different!

There are two pieces of scripture that are very much in my mind at this time.

Ecclesiastes 3 New International Version (NIV)

A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

And the second scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:11

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

I am finding that this is and needs to be a season where personal growth is the aim. We all go through seasons emotionally and spiritually. Seasons can arrive for all kinds of reasons - because God wants it to be so, or allows it to happen, to test and refine us - for character growth and for the future, and because baggage and issues bring us to that point of change and therein personal growth.

I am finding that I need for my own sanity re-evaluate in a slower pace of life the things that have been happening. As a Pastor, that's very difficult. We lead such hugely pressurised lives - at times it feels that everyone and thing wants a part of me. We are forever balancing spinning plates and people's expectations of what they think we should be doing - their expectations, are pretty much always too much and not realistic. Out of interest, there is a key question here - "Who Pastor's the Pastor?" I won't explore this hugely just now, but in Baptist Ministry, the pastoral care is a huge question. It is often reactive, not pro-active, and pretty much, and in my view sadly, we are left to our own devices by the BU to sort out our own support structures and caring. We are Professionals as Pastor's, but I know of no other profession where support is not properly present - supervision, spiritual direction. And in these days of economic squeeze, and other priorities, we are all finding that we need more support, and more encouragement and off loading of the things that are happening to us on the coal face of local church ministry.

But here is what is happening for me: The season I am is teaching me that my priorities have been wrong. Before I would do or die anything at a drop of a hat in my ministry as a Pastor, running to respond to this or that situation or project or meeting. But now, I cannot do that because my priorities have all been wrong. My priority in my life is God - my personal walk with him, and closely followed by total priority of my wife Claire and our family of 3 children. They need me and I must and want to be there for them. And then follows my work as a Pastor of a church and all that entails. I'm not going to give an extensive list here, but I know that for some what I have written may be upsetting, but I'm sorry my faith in God is paramount - my walk as a disciple, and my wife and family are a total priority, and they need me and deserve not second best, but primary place!

God is growing me in other areas of my life too. He is challenging me and I am not finding that all together easy. But it is spiritual, emotional and personal growth, and I am in his hands. What better place can there be in this season?

Wednesday 18 January 2012

Tortoise ministries

There's something about January that is dangerous! The tendency in some to do new things can, for numerous others, be quite dangerous. In the years that I have been a Pastor - over 20 years now, I have seen and for a time been a part of the brigade that goes for the latest things. It's just so tempting you see to rush after the latest things because others are doing it, and to merely follow the rush without asking questions. I guess that the impetouos age of youth is often characterised by this kind of activity: it darts after the new without question because others are doing so, and it merely supports the trend mindset that "this is what anybody who is really in is doing, and if you're not, then you're yesterday!"
My New Testament lecturer (God Bless AC!), once exclaimed to the gathered seminar "But God is always, always, always, doing a new thing!" And, he is right. There is something about the Tortoise you see, who indeed goes on to win the race, that is powerfully true of many aspects of life, and one of those is the Christian life, and within that Christian Ministry.
And so I guess that what I am saying is that the Gospel never changes, but how it is to be presented does. Well no new insights there then, it's not rocket science!
Yes, but the importance of starting the new year steadily and slowly picking up the rhythm of the beat seems to be where I am. There is surely widsom here.

The country stagnates within an economic depression and the one thing people are not doing is rushing anywhere. There are no easy solutions or answers, and the general, ordinary person of the UK is merely intent upon survival. The populous is weary of easy answers and quick fixes, and this is where the "old, old story, presented in new, new ways" must surely come in. What people are looking for and needing more than anything else in January 2012 is "hope". And the Gospel has it. Hebrews 6: 19 says - "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." This is for me a challenge and an opportunity. A challenge personally and an opportunity for every Christian to usher in revival.

Wednesday 11 January 2012

New Year - wierd time ... wierd people

I reckon I've said it before...but I'll say it again - New year is a wierd time! This year,we've not had the snow ... so far, so life is not on hold whilst everyone struggles to get from A to B or simply go out and play in it.
But there is a spectrum of behaviours in terms of the new year, isn't there? Some throw everything they can it new opportunities, others merely keep going as it was. Some make big plans and go mad in planning and diary stuff, others merely keep going as it was!
I don't want to dismiss the "do new things" camp, but there is a danger in doing some things that are so radical that they cannot be sustained. And if life is so full of change then the opposite effect to that which was desired can be the end result.
For a whole lot of other people - and I count myself in this camp this year, I feel I'm scrambling around at the moment trying to get my bearings in terms of what direction to go in. I'm doing what I guess are the important things - diary, paper work and ensuring that I do the ordinary things ok. But as it making announcements about "this is the direction to go in" then I am at the momenet reticent. Does this happen the older you get I ask myself? Am I merely, once again, a common statistic? Answer - probably yes!
And another thing - energy is low, but the to-do list if high. Can I flag up the enthusiasm to hit these things? Nah - the spiritual gift of procrastination needs to fully play its part!
But I find that if I have an enormous downer on myself as a result of this "spirit of sluggishness" that actually I will simply be worse off, and probably others around me too. So i find no sense of guilt in where I am, but am content to await the waves of the Spirit of God come when the time is right.
All that said, for me this is a time of internal growth. Of reflection and of recognising that I might not be the person I want to be, God wants me to be, and maybe others need me to me! I guess I'm just wierd then!

Monday 9 January 2012

Music - the missing ingredient

Well Happy New Year! I hope you have a good one.
I was, in one of those rare "down tools network is sleeping in power save mode" moments during the Christmas break, reflecting that what I miss at the moment in my life is music. I think it was a number of things that might have triggered this - a visit to here Handel's Messiah, a listening to Carols from Kings and one other music moment where I perhaps selfishly on Boxing day +1 sat with my head phones on whilst the rest of the family played Monopoly.
Now I'm not absent from music sunday by sunday, but I am missing music for me. I find my spirit aching for music at times because I honetsly believe that God has created everyone for music, in as much as it seems to be a part of the creative ingredient that God has put within all. And music would therefore appear to very much a part of spirituality.
My upbringing has been musical - a choir boy at one point, then I have sung in Dorset Opera in Aida and Turandot whilst at Sherborne. And whilst there sang in the town's local choral society in things like the Christmas Oratorio and Verdi's Reqiuem. But I guess my parents always had some kind of music going on in the background, and much of that sank in. I tried the clarinet once - too much like hard work, and wanted to play the guitar, but my parents refused! If only ...! But within church settings I have had a huge amount of renewal music pumped into me, as well the traditonal hymns of childhood. Not to mention my teenage and twent years of rock and pop and jazz and ...well in fact I like it all and have fairly broad tastes. I find music will move me to tears as memories come flashing by.
And I'm missing music. I'm missing singing chorally and that sense of being a part of something that isn't what I do perhaps as a Pastor. My question to myself, is whether I should do something about that. Have I the time. Life feels out of balance without it. And I think i should change that.