Another lamb to the slaughter had made his way before the entire college community for the weekly sermon class. It was bad enough to just get there - the college chapel, lead the worship, and then preach. After all you had had no sleep for days, could easily have taken up Spurgeonic pipe smoking to calm yourself (well the great CH did it after all), and then you were wheeled out in front of friends and faculty in the hope they would be kind. In the really old days of Spurgeon's, a student would have 2 sermon classes during their college existence, I'm guessing to see if you had improved or not! But we had it easy - just the one sacrifice. We died only once! The old students died twice! This was between the 88-92 years in the days of PBM. But it didn't stop there, for having survived the chapel bit, everyone retreated into a lecture theatre wherein the sacrificial lamb was positioned centre stage, and surrounded by all in the jolly college community. Then 2 critics from the student body and 2 from the faculty would sprout forth their deeply considered critiques (all pre-prepared in advance from seeing the students script) - "The preacher completely missed the point of the text and should consider his entire future in the ministry to be in jeopardy!" "The prayer led at the start sent me to sleep, and lacked theological substance!" "The preachers voice was thin and sounded like Kermit the Frog, he should pack it in now and return to the Muppet show!" "There are only 3 ways to preach this text, and this preacher chose neither! He should re-consider returning to be a road sweeper!" "The preacher entertained us this morning, but perhaps he should consider the stage as a stand up comedian!"
It would take you several months to regain any sense of divine call upon your life, if at all, but hey ho, thats what set Spurgeons apart from the others as being "The College of the Prince of Preachers!"
But I remember one severe but necessarily true criticism by a faculty member of a student's sermon: "We are not interested in hearing what the student thinks about this text, we are wanting to hear what God thinks! Please tell us!" Ouch!
Opinion - what's yours? As an observation, and a kind one at that, we do seem to love having opinions about viritually every topic. Some people are even outspoken to the point where either they very clearly have a view on everything, or they just will not stay quiet. You just know in any group setting that they are going to speak and express, once again, their rather tedious perspectives and wearisome views, which have in any case been heard one hundred times before. Yawn!
But what if we actually made it a discipline and a choice to remain quiet and to listen? To perhaps trash any pre-concieved "opinions" and actually spend time listening to a fresh one?! Oh joy, oh rapture when we might reach the place of realising that maybe, and probably, no one is actually interested in our opinions. But that may be a sad place to find yourself in if you are highly opinionated. So I give you a half way house: why not assume that no one is interested in your views unless they ask for them? In which case, you can indeed carefully respond, with tact and grace, with your "obviously only true" and correct world changing opinion!
But this is just my opinion!
Sam Griffiths Pastor of Wellington Baptist Church, Somerset.
Wednesday, 17 September 2014
Monday, 17 March 2014
83.5 Christian Ministry Truths
I've haven't blogged (again) for oodles, so feeling okay-ish today I thought I would throw some "stuff" into the arena.
I've noticed recently that there is this excessive desire by internet bloggers and the like to provide "easy lists" rather than to wax lyrical with long paragraphs. For example 10 easy ways to put the cat out, 5 hard ways to mow the lawn (gotta see that one) or 20 ways to oven cook chips. And so, I thought I'd have a go, and to do so covering a couple of topics I have been pondering on recently:
First: Pointers to the Baptist Family I belong to:
Second, I thought I'd re-visit my "Ministry Truths" list which I produced 5 years ago, and consider any new additions, as well as smile and cringe at those I scribed back then.
So this is how it went, in no particular order, but 5 years on I have added and edited:
I've noticed recently that there is this excessive desire by internet bloggers and the like to provide "easy lists" rather than to wax lyrical with long paragraphs. For example 10 easy ways to put the cat out, 5 hard ways to mow the lawn (gotta see that one) or 20 ways to oven cook chips. And so, I thought I'd have a go, and to do so covering a couple of topics I have been pondering on recently:
First: Pointers to the Baptist Family I belong to:
- Did we go far enough with the recent Baptist Union changes? Should we not have amalgamated with other church streams - Pentecostal and United Reformed being possible obvious choices, and particularly where similar struggles and challenges are being experienced, and haven't we got much that we can learn from one another?
- When is "the local" going to mean "the local church"?
- Isn't it time to join with most other Christian denominations and allow churches to advertise ministry vacancies online, particularly if the practice is already given over to Youth Workers and Regional Staff?
- What is the next national vision? And if there isn't to be one, can it be "the local"?
- If there is a now a code of values and practice for all Accredited Ministers, when will there be a code of practice for how churches are to act and behave?
Second, I thought I'd re-visit my "Ministry Truths" list which I produced 5 years ago, and consider any new additions, as well as smile and cringe at those I scribed back then.
So this is how it went, in no particular order, but 5 years on I have added and edited:
- You can never ever please everyone but you must defintely always please God.
- You can only minister where there is invitation.
- Never assume anything.
- Never think you've seen the worst situation, be unshockable.
- Beware of people in fluorescent jackets
- Everyone sees "it" differently and has an "agenda." See "it" God's way.
- Any and every situation is never "black and white".
- At the end of the day you can only do what you can do. Then you have to hand it over to God.
- Ministry is a thankless calling, where few appreciate you, rarely say thank you, never pay you enough, sometimes complain, sometimes get angry at you, think you don't have another life, sometimes don't say nice things and rarely appreciate "the real you". But that's ministry.
- Some people think you live at the church all the time.
- People often think that the only thing that you have to deal with is their problem and don't even consider everything else that you have to do.
- Conversely, if you sort/manage/service regularly the above group with "strokes" then ministry life tends to have less crisis points.
- The Kingdom of God is substantially bigger than you, your world, your life & your church.
- Some people like to play games.
- History always repeats itself & there's nothing new under the sun - God's seen it all before and left us with evidence. Unless God really does something extra ordinarily different, he does occasionally, be ready to see the difference and catch his wave.
- Demon possession is always, always the very last conclusion to reach. What else is going on?
- There's always a statement or question behind the statement or question. Ask yourself what it is and answer that one, not the smoke screen.
- People often get angry at you, even though it hurts, don't take it personally.
- Always put the family before the church.
- Your past can shape the way you are today. Be aware of it. Re-visit it, deal with it, let go of it. Use it.
- Don't panic.
- Keep a balance in all things.
- The Kingdom of God does not work to the principal of logic.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Spiritually and liturgicaly, be open to the new, do not forget the best of the past.
- Protect yourself, guard yourself.
- Keep going. Never give up. You're doing a good job.
- Ministry is not the whole picture. There is another life!
Thursday, 16 January 2014
What's under the bonnet?
I'm an engineer by first profession, having trained as an Apprentice Mechanical and Production Engineer in my early twenties, but in truth it goes more than being in my skill set, it's somewhere embedded as a core part of my existance. Some of that may well come from the way that God has shaped me, but alot may also go to my Dad, and watching him. Dad was a Royal Engineer amd had an extremely broad skill set of building houses, constructing bridges, repairing engines, wiring and plumbing, in fact the skills just rolled on and on. And he gave alot of those skills on to his sons. And we would watch him re-build the engine on one of our cars, or mend his own. But it seemed to go much deeper too with him - yes skills, yes experience, but the pondering of the small details and diagnostics and keeping going until it was finally solved. I still remember to this day him putting a long plank of wood on to an engine block and putting his ear to the end, and listening, and then saying, "hmmm, tappet number 6 is not getting any oil and it's too noisy" and then making a plug out of wood to increase the oil flow! Now this rubbed off on me, and I will often listen for the slightest strange noise on our cars, and a mere variation will make me wonder if something is amiss and, more often than not, think the worst. And of course, as a result, generally I love nothing better than to fiddle and mend under the bonnet to sort or repair something out. I'm currently crowing at the moment from resolving the car heating on my import - no Haynes manual you see, a mere online user group, and now after one or two attempts, we're now driving in a constant Sauna! Still a bit to do here!
So last night completely baffled me, and my offline computer brain is still cranking this around, our Citroen breaks down on one of those Dad and Mum Taxi runs, and I start to cringe inwardly at the thought of more garage bills. Well to cut along story short, a recovery man comes along, plugs his computer in the car's computer, and then re-sets the car's computer, and within 7 minutes we're sorted and back up and running. Now that's not meant to happen in my mind, though I'm grateful for it. You shouldn't repair cars by re-booting the computer, you have to fiddle around under the bonnet for a long time, and then solve it! Pooh-bah to these modern cars. But my brain is saying "I want one of those little computers now too!"
It made me ponder this morning that our lives are like cars. What is under our bonnet, and what is really going on? The Bible is stacked full of people who had issues under the bonnets of their lives. The problems couldn't be seen, and some people's engines were far from running smoothly.
The truth is that we all, without exception, have to confront the problems under our bonnets. From childhood, we don't grow up with everything ticking as it quite should. Character traits are picked up, behaviour patterns are learnt from adults around us. Adjustments are always needed. The sad thing is that I meet people who are afraid to confront what's under the bonnet. An external behaviour defect is, for some some, all that is at fault, yet they just cannot bring themselves to explore and delve beneath the bonnet to see and resolve what's really going on. And, sadly time and time again they trip up over the same areas because that inner exploration, a diagnostic check through, has not taken place.
When that happens, there is not much one can do, but discipleship rarely has any effect when someone is unwilling to face up to the deeper discipleship issues in the inner person.
And in some respects, once the core issues are dealt with, then, seemingly, discipleship becomes a lot more fruitful.
The truth is that in discipleship terms, there are no quick fixes, but on the other hand there can be the some significant and vital adjustments and repairs that are necessary, and which will often then make the engine of our spiritual lives begin to sing.
How do we help see their significant issues? I don't know. It seems to me that some people will never grasp the level of self awareness and spiritual awareness that is necessary to stop and do a full diagnostic. And some of these people sadly get into significant places of leadership and often feel that such issues are no longer required. What will it take I ask? Only a work of the Holy Spirit, and our own human spirit to be willing to change.
So last night completely baffled me, and my offline computer brain is still cranking this around, our Citroen breaks down on one of those Dad and Mum Taxi runs, and I start to cringe inwardly at the thought of more garage bills. Well to cut along story short, a recovery man comes along, plugs his computer in the car's computer, and then re-sets the car's computer, and within 7 minutes we're sorted and back up and running. Now that's not meant to happen in my mind, though I'm grateful for it. You shouldn't repair cars by re-booting the computer, you have to fiddle around under the bonnet for a long time, and then solve it! Pooh-bah to these modern cars. But my brain is saying "I want one of those little computers now too!"
It made me ponder this morning that our lives are like cars. What is under our bonnet, and what is really going on? The Bible is stacked full of people who had issues under the bonnets of their lives. The problems couldn't be seen, and some people's engines were far from running smoothly.
The truth is that we all, without exception, have to confront the problems under our bonnets. From childhood, we don't grow up with everything ticking as it quite should. Character traits are picked up, behaviour patterns are learnt from adults around us. Adjustments are always needed. The sad thing is that I meet people who are afraid to confront what's under the bonnet. An external behaviour defect is, for some some, all that is at fault, yet they just cannot bring themselves to explore and delve beneath the bonnet to see and resolve what's really going on. And, sadly time and time again they trip up over the same areas because that inner exploration, a diagnostic check through, has not taken place.
When that happens, there is not much one can do, but discipleship rarely has any effect when someone is unwilling to face up to the deeper discipleship issues in the inner person.
And in some respects, once the core issues are dealt with, then, seemingly, discipleship becomes a lot more fruitful.
The truth is that in discipleship terms, there are no quick fixes, but on the other hand there can be the some significant and vital adjustments and repairs that are necessary, and which will often then make the engine of our spiritual lives begin to sing.
How do we help see their significant issues? I don't know. It seems to me that some people will never grasp the level of self awareness and spiritual awareness that is necessary to stop and do a full diagnostic. And some of these people sadly get into significant places of leadership and often feel that such issues are no longer required. What will it take I ask? Only a work of the Holy Spirit, and our own human spirit to be willing to change.
Thursday, 9 January 2014
There are less days in 2014!
More than enough people said to me before Christmas, "Where did this year go? I cannot believe it is coming up to the end of the year, again!" or "This year has gone way too fast!" And I have actually sat down to check my diary as to whether was a month or two that was missed - but nup! That was 2013, all 365 days of it. I can even remember the mental note I made at the end of 2012, that that year had gone too quickly, so 2013 - well someone has adjusted a small dial somewhere to speed up the treadmill! Who is it? I want to know! Because quite simply, it's not on!
The truth is, as I reflected this morning, that for most parents, let alone adults, if we are to achieve what we need to today, then you shouldn't have gone to bed until 11.30pm last night, then you needed to have got up at 2am, strapped the smartphone on to your head for a direct feed of all emails, texts and social networking comments and replies, the landline gaffer taped to your ear whilst your elderly parents tell you they've had such a busy day driving to shop and back, with one hand on the hoover, the other hand putting a load through the washing machine, the other stirring a pot of food, the other hand cleaning shoes, the other hand dusting, the other hand writing cheques for children's school costs and after school costs, the other hand washing up, and all this whilst driving the children from A to B to C, whilst popping into the supermarket, then on to D, and then back to A. Oh and then you also need a direct feed of the freeview or sat box into the brain so that you can catch up on all the fascinating programmes that you MUST watch. And that's only half the story!
It's amazing as I zip round attempting to clear up what I find in my journeys: a piece of toast and some DS games down the bottom of the sofa. I've developed this technique that I thought quite clever, based on my engineering days, which is to move things from where they have been dumped back towards the approximate place wherein they belong. By the time I've gone up and down stairs 10 times I have the stuff vaguely on the right floor, maybe even in the right zone. Then it needs completely putting back - thats another story. But the wierd thing is that I'm sure things then get moved back - well it's beyond me!
So, are we living far too busy lives? Yes! Are we enjoying life less? Yes! What's driving us? Not sure! who says that life has to be like this? Don't know!
Jesus said something quite potent on this from the sermon on the mount: "Don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough problems of it's own!" Actually that's the warm up line! The truth of the context of what Jesus was saying is "Trust in God!" and not in yourself.
As for the key question - are there less days in 14? Yes, everyone knows that. It's obvious. It is in fact March 2014 already - wake up because Christmas is coming!
The truth is, as I reflected this morning, that for most parents, let alone adults, if we are to achieve what we need to today, then you shouldn't have gone to bed until 11.30pm last night, then you needed to have got up at 2am, strapped the smartphone on to your head for a direct feed of all emails, texts and social networking comments and replies, the landline gaffer taped to your ear whilst your elderly parents tell you they've had such a busy day driving to shop and back, with one hand on the hoover, the other hand putting a load through the washing machine, the other stirring a pot of food, the other hand cleaning shoes, the other hand dusting, the other hand writing cheques for children's school costs and after school costs, the other hand washing up, and all this whilst driving the children from A to B to C, whilst popping into the supermarket, then on to D, and then back to A. Oh and then you also need a direct feed of the freeview or sat box into the brain so that you can catch up on all the fascinating programmes that you MUST watch. And that's only half the story!
It's amazing as I zip round attempting to clear up what I find in my journeys: a piece of toast and some DS games down the bottom of the sofa. I've developed this technique that I thought quite clever, based on my engineering days, which is to move things from where they have been dumped back towards the approximate place wherein they belong. By the time I've gone up and down stairs 10 times I have the stuff vaguely on the right floor, maybe even in the right zone. Then it needs completely putting back - thats another story. But the wierd thing is that I'm sure things then get moved back - well it's beyond me!
So, are we living far too busy lives? Yes! Are we enjoying life less? Yes! What's driving us? Not sure! who says that life has to be like this? Don't know!
Jesus said something quite potent on this from the sermon on the mount: "Don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough problems of it's own!" Actually that's the warm up line! The truth of the context of what Jesus was saying is "Trust in God!" and not in yourself.
As for the key question - are there less days in 14? Yes, everyone knows that. It's obvious. It is in fact March 2014 already - wake up because Christmas is coming!
Friday, 20 September 2013
Being like Jesus is such a tricky thing ..
Being like Jesus is such a tricky thing, which is odd really, because Christians seem to sing about it most sundays, and even shout out "we want to be like you, Jesus!" And whilst I know this is a judgmental observation, there doesn't seem to be an awful lot of understanding about what that means, let alone attempts to be like Jesus. In fact on the whole I get the feel - and yes, it's a judgment thing again, it seems like there is a desire for the comfort or consumerism of God-stuff than an attempt to go Jesus' way. Yes, I know, the goal of every Christian should be to be like Jesus, but ..., and as our college pastoral lecturer famously and unforgettably once said, "it's a big but(t)!"
.... If I'm to be like Jesus, then I just don't know if I can be precisely like Him. I'm honestly not sure if the Jesus of the scriptures that I read about in say the Garden of Gethsemane, where he tussles with his will and Father's will - and incidentally, his disciples cannot stay awake and pray with him; they shall we say "cannot go his way" and be precisely "like him!" And when I read about the passover lamb - Jesus, in Isaiah 53 - "He was despised and rejected of men ...." [that bit] (as in the Messiah), I'm even less sure that I can travel such a painful way. Does that make sense? Right now, as I write this, I feel like I am betraying Jesus - does that make sense too?
In the end this is all about Jesus the suffering servant, and the way of grace. That's what this is all about - probably! You see Jesus gave himself totally and utterly for the sin of the world upon the cross to die this agonising death. I'm sure that humanly he didn't want to, but as God there was only one option. The sinless lamb had to be sacrificed as an atonement. And Jesus so readily served others in his ministry. But can we be like that? Can we be like him? Of course, that's a lifetime goal.
But this journey of grace in us is a tough one. Let me unpack that: learning to be graceful, patient, merciful, forgiving - and loads of other Galatian 5 fruit stuff, that's just so not easy. I can do it when the pressure is off of course, then it's a kind of thing that begins in my head, T's off to the heart - "that would be a good thing to do", and eventually leads to actions - and wow! That was good! But from the heart, that's a real tough ask. From the heart where it becomes "second nature" (interesting phrase) or should that be "first nature"? Where it becomes automatic.
Now of course we are in the new world of boundaries and what is acceptable and what is not. In many ways these are extremely helpful tools that counselling, coaching and team skills (etc) have so wonderfully taught us. In other words, there are limits to how much we can appropriately take, or give before we need to say that enough is enough, or something is unacceptable. I'm right there - these are so very helpful for everyone, especially those in people work, ministry being one of them. More often that not, these tools more than preserve people from being abused in all kinds of life, but sadly, not all.
But then you see you get this Jesus come along and as the "suffering servant" mostly defies all this boundary stuff. And that's where I ponder whether I can really be like Jesus? And "people" have this expectation of me as a Pastor or a Church Leader that essentially I am "ok" to take anything thats thrown at me. "Oh, he gets paid to do it!" (I'm both creasing up in hilarity and in tears of sadness right now.) Of course in one sense thats immaterial because that's not what this is about, it's all about our personal worlds: "Us" as disciples, and whether we can really go the way of Jesus, rather than anything else.
Over the years I've read account upon account of people who are just so much more graceful than me, and seem to demonstrate far more vividly what all this "stuff" is really all about, which is grace. It crosses my mind that this journey of "going the way of Jesus" is indeed a lifetime journey. As a slight personal encouragement but not as one of pride, I hope I am a little more graceful than in my younger days, but let's not get stuck there and pass swiftly on! And ultimately I am that way because of the painful and challenging parts of life that I have been through. This is, as one person describes, "divine sandpaper" where God puts us into situations where it is the exact opposite of our nature, to teach us and change us. That over the years the divine sandpaper begins it's at times painful lesson of smooothing off our sharp edges, until one day we get to the lower grade sandpaper, and then it's all just about buffing!
So yes, this being like Jesus is such a hugely tricky thing. In one sense "no" we are not to be like Jesus in that we never ever place our feet in his exact footsteps. That's just not possible. But in another sense, "yes" we have no choice but to go the way of Jesus.
.... If I'm to be like Jesus, then I just don't know if I can be precisely like Him. I'm honestly not sure if the Jesus of the scriptures that I read about in say the Garden of Gethsemane, where he tussles with his will and Father's will - and incidentally, his disciples cannot stay awake and pray with him; they shall we say "cannot go his way" and be precisely "like him!" And when I read about the passover lamb - Jesus, in Isaiah 53 - "He was despised and rejected of men ...." [that bit] (as in the Messiah), I'm even less sure that I can travel such a painful way. Does that make sense? Right now, as I write this, I feel like I am betraying Jesus - does that make sense too?
In the end this is all about Jesus the suffering servant, and the way of grace. That's what this is all about - probably! You see Jesus gave himself totally and utterly for the sin of the world upon the cross to die this agonising death. I'm sure that humanly he didn't want to, but as God there was only one option. The sinless lamb had to be sacrificed as an atonement. And Jesus so readily served others in his ministry. But can we be like that? Can we be like him? Of course, that's a lifetime goal.
But this journey of grace in us is a tough one. Let me unpack that: learning to be graceful, patient, merciful, forgiving - and loads of other Galatian 5 fruit stuff, that's just so not easy. I can do it when the pressure is off of course, then it's a kind of thing that begins in my head, T's off to the heart - "that would be a good thing to do", and eventually leads to actions - and wow! That was good! But from the heart, that's a real tough ask. From the heart where it becomes "second nature" (interesting phrase) or should that be "first nature"? Where it becomes automatic.
Now of course we are in the new world of boundaries and what is acceptable and what is not. In many ways these are extremely helpful tools that counselling, coaching and team skills (etc) have so wonderfully taught us. In other words, there are limits to how much we can appropriately take, or give before we need to say that enough is enough, or something is unacceptable. I'm right there - these are so very helpful for everyone, especially those in people work, ministry being one of them. More often that not, these tools more than preserve people from being abused in all kinds of life, but sadly, not all.
But then you see you get this Jesus come along and as the "suffering servant" mostly defies all this boundary stuff. And that's where I ponder whether I can really be like Jesus? And "people" have this expectation of me as a Pastor or a Church Leader that essentially I am "ok" to take anything thats thrown at me. "Oh, he gets paid to do it!" (I'm both creasing up in hilarity and in tears of sadness right now.) Of course in one sense thats immaterial because that's not what this is about, it's all about our personal worlds: "Us" as disciples, and whether we can really go the way of Jesus, rather than anything else.
Over the years I've read account upon account of people who are just so much more graceful than me, and seem to demonstrate far more vividly what all this "stuff" is really all about, which is grace. It crosses my mind that this journey of "going the way of Jesus" is indeed a lifetime journey. As a slight personal encouragement but not as one of pride, I hope I am a little more graceful than in my younger days, but let's not get stuck there and pass swiftly on! And ultimately I am that way because of the painful and challenging parts of life that I have been through. This is, as one person describes, "divine sandpaper" where God puts us into situations where it is the exact opposite of our nature, to teach us and change us. That over the years the divine sandpaper begins it's at times painful lesson of smooothing off our sharp edges, until one day we get to the lower grade sandpaper, and then it's all just about buffing!
So yes, this being like Jesus is such a hugely tricky thing. In one sense "no" we are not to be like Jesus in that we never ever place our feet in his exact footsteps. That's just not possible. But in another sense, "yes" we have no choice but to go the way of Jesus.
Friday, 13 September 2013
On a different planet
I realise that I haven't blogged for ages, so this is well overdue. And looking back at the last one, I see that I was embarking upon a Gym phase, which i need to state right now was really good and wonderful. And yes, I did go regularly and felt better as a result. But my GP referral phase (which I had requested) came to an abrupt end, and that was that. It's ironic that it was doing me so much good - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, but that I honestly cannot afford £15/month or £180/annum. It just doesn't fit into a family budget. There is something to reflect on here: the gym made me feel better and perhaps less likely to be in need of medical care in the future, and be any burden to the NHS, but to do so you have to be, in all probability, earning near to £40K/annum to afford it, because lets face it, this is percieved as an extra and for those he can afford it. I have always justified that God has given the open air, the hills and paths to run on, so I'll take that as a freebie. Mind you, as a regular visitor to the osteopath, paying £30/session and going say 6 times a year, the gym would strengthen my back and there would no need for the Osteo?!
The last "review" session with my gym trainer was a chuckle, where he said he would see if he could swing something with his Manager for the diocese. "Yes, Yes" - I responded, wondering what that meant in Baptist terms.
So to the title - "On a different planet" which is a term of warm assessment for those who seem disconnected from reality. Well it comes home to roost! Because this week I did it again! Yes, I accidentally filled up my Diesel car with a small amount of unleaded, and well .....the rest is ....kind of embarrasing. I last did this about 10 years ago - maybe, on the way to my Dad's 80th party. And then I said I'd never do it again. In mitigation, I was nicely relaxed and in fairly detached reflection. I had had a busy 2 hours, and my plan was in my head: get a Costa, fill up at the same petrol station, and only enough until I get to a supermarket where I could then fill up with cheaper diesel. But something was happening deep in me, and I wasn't there. I also need to say that our other car drinks unleaded, so when I fill up with that its the green stuff, when I'm in this car, it's the black stuff. So now I'm waiting for the heavy bill.Oh and one other thing, when I called my breakdown company, and said "oh I know what I've done, I filled up with the wrong gas!" That was it, they said they couldn't rescue me because it was my own fault. Thanks guys! So that cost me a £100!
Finally, some observations that are not unique, it happens to all of us. My mother has finally put our family home on the market, and it's the right decision for her having just turned 80 years. But of course it has the deeper pull of being more than bricks and mortar: that was our home for certainly 45years, and it goes even deeper because Dad built it. So there are deep emotions and memories. Remembering the games that were played, the windows broken, the concreting, the gardening, the friends that came round, the flooding from the dishwasher and the the washing machine, the train room, the parties, the noises and smells, the illnesses, the laughter and tears, and so it goes on! I cannot say that it is anything less than painful, and yes emotional. We even have an array of all of our feet shapes set in the driveway concrete - that will have to come with us!
The last "review" session with my gym trainer was a chuckle, where he said he would see if he could swing something with his Manager for the diocese. "Yes, Yes" - I responded, wondering what that meant in Baptist terms.
So to the title - "On a different planet" which is a term of warm assessment for those who seem disconnected from reality. Well it comes home to roost! Because this week I did it again! Yes, I accidentally filled up my Diesel car with a small amount of unleaded, and well .....the rest is ....kind of embarrasing. I last did this about 10 years ago - maybe, on the way to my Dad's 80th party. And then I said I'd never do it again. In mitigation, I was nicely relaxed and in fairly detached reflection. I had had a busy 2 hours, and my plan was in my head: get a Costa, fill up at the same petrol station, and only enough until I get to a supermarket where I could then fill up with cheaper diesel. But something was happening deep in me, and I wasn't there. I also need to say that our other car drinks unleaded, so when I fill up with that its the green stuff, when I'm in this car, it's the black stuff. So now I'm waiting for the heavy bill.Oh and one other thing, when I called my breakdown company, and said "oh I know what I've done, I filled up with the wrong gas!" That was it, they said they couldn't rescue me because it was my own fault. Thanks guys! So that cost me a £100!
Finally, some observations that are not unique, it happens to all of us. My mother has finally put our family home on the market, and it's the right decision for her having just turned 80 years. But of course it has the deeper pull of being more than bricks and mortar: that was our home for certainly 45years, and it goes even deeper because Dad built it. So there are deep emotions and memories. Remembering the games that were played, the windows broken, the concreting, the gardening, the friends that came round, the flooding from the dishwasher and the the washing machine, the train room, the parties, the noises and smells, the illnesses, the laughter and tears, and so it goes on! I cannot say that it is anything less than painful, and yes emotional. We even have an array of all of our feet shapes set in the driveway concrete - that will have to come with us!
Thursday, 20 June 2013
Run Forest run ....
So I've finally given in to what I had always said I wouldn't do!
To briefly sign up for the local gym. I say briefly, because it is in essence a GP referall scheme membership of 8 weeks only. Please don't get the wrong idea here; the GP did not look at me and laugh and say "you need to do this!" I actually asked him for it, knowing there was a price cut advantage. He then reached for his forms, finally found them, and then laughed! No, he was far too professional to laugh, but was that the squeeky door as I left or a strange snigger of hilarity?
Anyway, I object to doing to the gym and paying for it. Give it to me free and maybe I'd be there, but there just seems to be a sense that running on a treadmill and being charged for it, somehow goes against the grain when I could just go and jog. Well that's my argument anyway.
On the other hand, I've now been to the gym about 4 times in the last 8 days, so there must be something working in the concept of it all. So now I have this choice of running treadmill, odd skiing machine - or thats what the bloke said, a cycle machine and then the old fashioned weights and clunking machines. Yes there is pain, and yes a building up of sweat, but the surreal thing is that I can watch TV as I do so. Yesterday it was the tennis at Eastbourne, and I kid you not, running my allotted time on the belt I could fairly nicely follow the game and guess the shots. And yes, though everything in me cries "don't go", I'm managing to be deaf to the deep screams within.
Downstairs it's a different story; yesterday whilst doing my stuff I became aware of the almost Rhino like screams and trumpetting noises of some bloke as literally fought the block of weights to make them go up. Far too dramatic for me, I was going for reps!
But it feels great after the gym; somehow I feel more alive, and with it, until early evening, and thats when I seem to suddenly crash out!
I suppose the worst part of it all is that some of the machines I just cannot fathom. As much as I press every button, it will just not do what I want it to do.
So watch this space. I can feel a new fit Pastor forming!
To briefly sign up for the local gym. I say briefly, because it is in essence a GP referall scheme membership of 8 weeks only. Please don't get the wrong idea here; the GP did not look at me and laugh and say "you need to do this!" I actually asked him for it, knowing there was a price cut advantage. He then reached for his forms, finally found them, and then laughed! No, he was far too professional to laugh, but was that the squeeky door as I left or a strange snigger of hilarity?
Anyway, I object to doing to the gym and paying for it. Give it to me free and maybe I'd be there, but there just seems to be a sense that running on a treadmill and being charged for it, somehow goes against the grain when I could just go and jog. Well that's my argument anyway.
On the other hand, I've now been to the gym about 4 times in the last 8 days, so there must be something working in the concept of it all. So now I have this choice of running treadmill, odd skiing machine - or thats what the bloke said, a cycle machine and then the old fashioned weights and clunking machines. Yes there is pain, and yes a building up of sweat, but the surreal thing is that I can watch TV as I do so. Yesterday it was the tennis at Eastbourne, and I kid you not, running my allotted time on the belt I could fairly nicely follow the game and guess the shots. And yes, though everything in me cries "don't go", I'm managing to be deaf to the deep screams within.
Downstairs it's a different story; yesterday whilst doing my stuff I became aware of the almost Rhino like screams and trumpetting noises of some bloke as literally fought the block of weights to make them go up. Far too dramatic for me, I was going for reps!
But it feels great after the gym; somehow I feel more alive, and with it, until early evening, and thats when I seem to suddenly crash out!
I suppose the worst part of it all is that some of the machines I just cannot fathom. As much as I press every button, it will just not do what I want it to do.
So watch this space. I can feel a new fit Pastor forming!
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