Being like Jesus is such a tricky thing ..

Being like Jesus is such a tricky thing, which is odd really, because Christians seem to sing about it most sundays, and even shout out "we want to be like you, Jesus!" And whilst I know this is a judgmental observation, there doesn't seem to be an awful lot of understanding about what that means, let alone attempts to be like Jesus. In fact on the whole I get the feel - and yes, it's a judgment thing again, it seems like there is a desire for the comfort or consumerism of God-stuff than an attempt to go Jesus' way.  Yes, I know, the goal of every Christian should be to be like Jesus, but ..., and as our college pastoral lecturer famously and unforgettably once said, "it's a big but(t)!"
.... If I'm to be like Jesus, then I just don't know if I can be precisely like Him. I'm honestly not sure if the Jesus of the scriptures that I read about in say the Garden of Gethsemane, where he tussles with his will and Father's will - and incidentally, his disciples cannot stay awake and pray with him; they shall we say "cannot go his way" and be precisely "like him!" And when I read about the passover lamb - Jesus, in Isaiah 53 - "He was despised and rejected of men ...." [that bit] (as in the Messiah), I'm even less sure that I can travel such a painful way. Does that make sense? Right now, as I write this, I feel like I am betraying Jesus - does that make sense too?
In the end this is all about Jesus the suffering servant, and the way of grace. That's what this is all about - probably! You see Jesus gave himself totally and utterly for the sin of the world upon the cross to die this agonising death. I'm sure that humanly he didn't want to, but as God there was only one option. The sinless lamb had to be sacrificed as an atonement. And Jesus so readily served others in his ministry. But can we be like that? Can we be like him? Of course, that's a lifetime goal.
But this journey of grace in us is a tough one. Let me unpack that: learning to be graceful, patient, merciful, forgiving - and loads of other Galatian 5 fruit stuff, that's just so not easy. I can do it when the pressure is off of course, then it's a kind of thing that begins in my head, T's off to the heart - "that would be a good thing to do", and eventually leads to actions - and wow! That was good! But from the heart, that's a real tough ask. From the heart where it becomes "second nature" (interesting phrase) or should that be "first nature"? Where it becomes automatic.
Now of course we are in the new world of boundaries and what is acceptable and what is not. In many ways these are extremely helpful tools that counselling, coaching and team skills (etc) have so wonderfully taught us. In other words, there are limits to how much we can appropriately take, or give before we need to say that enough is enough, or something is unacceptable. I'm right there - these are so very helpful for everyone, especially those in people work, ministry being one of them. More often that not, these tools more than preserve people from being abused in all kinds of life, but sadly, not all.
But then you see you get this Jesus come along and as the "suffering servant" mostly defies all this boundary stuff. And that's where I ponder whether I can really be like Jesus? And "people" have this expectation of me as a Pastor or a Church Leader that essentially I am "ok" to take anything thats thrown at me. "Oh, he gets paid to do it!" (I'm both creasing up in hilarity and in tears of sadness right now.) Of course in one sense thats immaterial because that's not what this is about, it's all about our personal worlds: "Us" as disciples, and whether we can really go the way of Jesus, rather than anything else.
Over the years I've read account upon account of people who are just so much more graceful than me, and seem to demonstrate far more vividly what all this "stuff" is really all about, which is grace. It crosses my mind that this journey of  "going the way of Jesus" is indeed a lifetime journey. As a slight personal encouragement but not as one of pride, I hope I am a little more graceful than in my younger days, but let's not get stuck there and pass swiftly on! And ultimately I am that way because of the painful and challenging parts of life that I have been through. This is, as one person describes, "divine sandpaper" where God puts us into situations where it is the exact opposite of our nature, to teach us and change us. That over the years the divine sandpaper begins it's at times painful lesson of smooothing off our sharp edges, until one day we get to the lower grade sandpaper, and then it's all just about buffing!
So yes, this being like Jesus is such a hugely tricky thing. In one sense "no" we are not to be like Jesus in that we never ever place our feet in his exact footsteps. That's just not possible. But in another sense, "yes" we have no choice but to go the way of Jesus.

On a different planet

I realise that I haven't blogged for ages, so this is well overdue. And looking back at the last one, I see that I was embarking upon a Gym phase, which i need to state right now was really good and wonderful. And yes, I did go regularly and felt better as a result. But my GP referral phase (which I had requested) came to an abrupt end, and that was that. It's ironic that it was doing me so much good - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, but that I honestly cannot afford £15/month or £180/annum. It just doesn't fit into a family budget. There is something to reflect on here: the gym made me feel better and perhaps less likely to be in need of medical care in the future, and be any burden to the NHS, but to do so you have to be, in all probability, earning near to £40K/annum to afford it, because lets face it, this is percieved as an extra and for those he can afford it. I have always justified that God has given the open air, the hills and paths to run on, so I'll take that as a freebie. Mind you, as a regular visitor to the osteopath, paying £30/session and going say 6 times a year, the gym would strengthen my back and there would no need for the Osteo?!
The last "review" session with my gym trainer was a chuckle, where he said he would see if he could swing something with his Manager for the diocese. "Yes, Yes" - I responded, wondering what that meant in Baptist terms.
So to the title - "On a different planet" which is a term of warm assessment for those who seem disconnected from reality. Well it comes home to roost! Because this week I did it again! Yes, I accidentally filled up my Diesel car with a small amount of unleaded, and well .....the rest is ....kind of embarrasing. I last did this about 10 years ago - maybe, on the way to my Dad's 80th party. And then I said I'd never do it again. In mitigation, I was nicely relaxed and in fairly detached reflection. I had had a busy 2 hours, and my plan was in my head: get a Costa, fill up at the same petrol station, and only enough until I get to a supermarket where I could then fill up with cheaper diesel. But something was happening deep in me, and I wasn't there. I also need to say that our other car drinks unleaded, so when I fill up with that its the green stuff, when I'm in this car, it's the black stuff. So now I'm waiting for the heavy bill.Oh and one other thing, when I called my breakdown company, and said "oh I know what I've done, I filled up with the wrong gas!" That was it, they said they couldn't rescue me because it was my own fault. Thanks guys! So that cost me a £100!

Finally, some observations that are not unique, it happens to all of us. My mother has finally put our family home on the market, and it's the right decision for her having just turned 80 years. But of course it has the deeper pull of being more than bricks and mortar: that was our home for certainly 45years, and it goes even deeper because Dad built it. So there are deep emotions and memories. Remembering the games that were played, the windows broken, the concreting, the gardening, the friends that came round, the flooding from the dishwasher and the the washing machine, the train room, the parties, the noises and smells, the illnesses, the laughter and tears, and so it goes on! I cannot say that it is anything less than painful, and yes emotional. We even have an array of all of our feet shapes set in the driveway concrete - that will have to come with us!

Run Forest run ....

So I've finally given in to what I had always said I wouldn't do!

To briefly sign up for the local gym. I say briefly, because it is in essence a GP referall scheme membership of 8 weeks only. Please don't get the wrong idea here; the GP did not look at me and laugh and say "you need to do this!" I actually asked him for it, knowing there was a price cut advantage. He then reached for his forms, finally found them, and then laughed! No, he was far too professional to laugh, but was that the squeeky door as I  left or a strange snigger of hilarity?

Anyway, I object to doing to the gym and paying for it. Give it to me free and maybe I'd be there, but there just seems to be a sense that running on a treadmill and being charged for it, somehow goes against the grain when I could just go and jog. Well that's my argument anyway.

On the other hand, I've now been to the gym about 4 times in the last 8 days, so there must be something working in the concept of it all. So now I have this choice of running treadmill, odd skiing machine - or thats what the bloke said, a cycle machine and then the old fashioned weights and clunking machines. Yes there is pain, and yes a building up of sweat, but the surreal thing is that I can watch TV as I do so. Yesterday it was the tennis at Eastbourne, and I kid you not, running my allotted time on the belt I could fairly nicely follow the game and guess the shots. And yes, though everything in me cries "don't go", I'm managing to be deaf to the deep screams within.
Downstairs it's a different story; yesterday whilst doing my stuff I became aware of the almost Rhino like screams and trumpetting noises of some bloke as literally fought the block of weights to make them go up. Far too dramatic for me, I was going for reps!

But it feels great after the gym; somehow I feel more alive, and with it, until early evening, and thats when I seem to suddenly crash out!

I suppose the worst part of it all is that some of the machines I just cannot fathom. As much as I press every button, it will just not do what I want it to do.

So watch this space. I can feel a new fit Pastor forming!

Of Thatcher, leadership and grace

The death in the past week and today's funeral of Lady Thatcher has brought numerous reactions from all ends of the spectrum of politics, from the ordinary person in the street of the United Kingdom, as well as globally from prominent world leaders of the past and present.
As a '66 baby, I grew up in Thatcher's time in Politics as PM, so I believe I, like many others of this era, am qualified to make some small comment - even if it's subjective nonsense! I make these comments not showing any political colours - I cannot say growing up in Thatcher's Britain was easy, but our nation needed leadership and cometh the hour cometh the leader. And without a doubt she was a leader who had an enormous effect upon our country, and this in and of itself brings different reactions.

For the record, Churchill was our WW2 champion - given a state funeral, and rightly so! Cometh the hour, cometh the man! But Churchill was useless as a peace time PM and people disliked him for it and rapidly voted him out! Never let us forget that people allow themselves to go forward for public office - no easy ride or call. They do so to serve our nation - no easy task - would you like to do that? And are mandated by the people in vote - nb here, we get what we vote for! And some but not all reach the highest office in the land to serve our country - there are many good Politicians, but to be 'First Lord of the Treasury' is the big one! Big demand and normally a person of extreme ability where hard work, pressure, little rest - and yes pressure on the family too. That in and of itself is worthy of our thanks - to any PM of any colour. And I have no problem with any former PM, whether Blair or Brown or Cameron receiving such a funeral - whatever my opinions. Or will there be objectors at Blair's funeral over the Iraq war? If the nation wants no statesmen or stateswomen in the future, then don't bother honouring them! But in truth, all are worthy of our honour and thanks. And all were and are human beings who served to the best of their abilities, even if some decisions were wrong or badly handled.

But I have been unsettled and dismayed at some of the quite offensive reactions from some leaders of today, as well as by people celebrating, having parties, supporting "wicked witch" singles, turning their backs, blogging or social networking quite unnecessarily rude comments and statements. These are not the values of our British society, and whilst yes, there is a democratic right and freedom to express opinion, what is it that makes us feel we have a right to degenerate and be rude at someone's death? This is the direct opposite of the Christian fruit of grace and mercy, and against the principles and values of our country.

When someone dies we are always filled with numerous emotions, but with a death comes a funeral, and with a death comes grieving relatives - and Margaret Thatcher was a mother, a husband, a grandmother and a human being. In otherwords people are involved.

I have learnt as a Pastor over the years, that whenever a death and funeral arrives, my task is to commend someone into the hands of a loving and merciful God, and to pray and support their family and relatives. Actually I think that is the task of us all! Whatever we may feel.

But it is never appropriate to be rude, judgemental and offensive at these times. There will come a time when history - either in the micro-picture of family discussion or reflection or the national archives of history, which will be the appropriate judge of all of our lives in this world, and spiritually as the scriptures tell us - God is the spiritual and ultimate judge of our lives. And note that this is God's task and his alone! I do find many people seem to want to do God's job of judgement for him. But let not one of us ever think we are any more superior than another, let alone a stateswoman, in terms of our own track records and lives.

And this got me thinking about Leadership and Margaret Thatcher. One of the over-riding images I have of her is that she was a Leader. And Leaders often get a bad press. It comes with the territory mind you. It was said to me "if you stick your head out, expect to get it cut off!" I don't think thats a french revolution comment by the way!
But the one central main task of being a leader is to lead. There are followers - yes, and an awful lot of them, but perhaps in our political world today - not many leaders. Perhaps not of her calibre anyway. Ask any leader and they would more than happily give up sometimes and simply be a follower. Being a follower is easy! But being a Leader is a difficult and lonely task because as much as it's absolutely right to consult, consider and research, reflect, ask for opinion and be as collective as possible, sometimes leadership requires you and you alone to make a final decision. When you look for someone else to make this with you or for you, often many have deserted to the hills or the burrows! Leadership is always accountable, but often it is painful and lonely. As much as the leader - himself or herself requires someone else to make the decision, the central task of leadership is to lead. Even if its uncomfortable and sometimes unpopular.

Are leaders born or made? Good question! Probably both and probably never only born and never only made. In otherwords good leaders learn from their mistakes and from growing in life.
Yes we may want to make sweeping judements of leaders. Some of these may well be cheap and unworthy - why? Because we are not them. And we simply don't know the whole picture. We weren't there and were not privy to all of the information - some confidential, some secret, some only for the eyes and ears of leaders. Quick to judge? Do so and it might well be unfair and unworthy because we are not them, and we are not in their shoes. Judge without the full facts? Many of us do and jump to the wrong conclusions. And that is unfair. But the nature of leadership is sometimes, often, that things are confidential, come what may. Leadership requires gifts that not all have. Thats why some are not leaders, but followers. It's so much easier being a follower - no responsibilities! But at the end of the day, leaders must lead. And leaders must pay the cost of leading - often a high cost, of being misunderstood. The Bible has much to say on this - leaders will be judged far more than others.

So let us let history be the final mortal judge, and God the final spiritual judge. But let none of us be offensive. Yes if there is evil present - as in the case of Hitler or others, then we have a right to speak out and if necessary to take up weapons, but for our Prime Ministers let us give thanks to them for their service, honour their memory and pray for their grieving families. And let us pray and work for a country that has the moral backbone to the know the difference between right and wrong, good and evil and to behave properly. And let us pray for leaders everywhere.

Why is the church rubbish at learning styles

I've got to say that in general, the church is rubbish at learning styles! There is this expectation, albeit that maybe attached to the generations - "maybe", that seems to think that one size fits all. And it doesn't!

In other words, it expects everyone to come along to the traditional features of church life - a congregation, to stand in a line, sing, and then sit and listen to a sermon, dribbled out by a mono-tone voice, that is seemingly unending for 30 minutes, or even worse! I suppose that some may jump up at this point and attempt to mitigate - "Oh but we have powerpoint now" [aka 'death by powerpoint'], "and we even show video, and stuff like that", but to be honest that's as far as it goes as an attempt in this direction. Oh by the way, the church's decision to "go multi-media" was never a primary response to learning styles, it was more a case of "everyone's got it, so we'd better have it!" But enough of this TV generation twaddle, because learning styles "stuff" is far more than anything to do with a screen.

To be honest, I was cheated and badly in my school upbringing. There was only one learning style in the 70's and 80's, and that was sit down, face the front, learn by heart, repeat parrot fashion, write in neat lines, remember, and most of all - reproduce all that twaddle in the exam. And, success was judged on whether you did well in that exam. And in those days, if you didn't fit into the Grammar School framework of this one learning style, then you got relegated to secondary modern school, and deemed unfairly by the populous to be "not bright". As for me, I was forced and squeezed by my parents into the then changing environment from Grammar to Comprehensive education system, but which in it's transfer was largely still of that one same learning style. Essentially all the teachers who had been in the Grammar School were switched into the comprehensive system, but kept teaching the one learning style. That's why I flunked not once, but twice my O levels. And Maths too - 4 times! I should have been in the secondary mod stream by all rights, but my parents couldn't face the realities of this, and so "hit with the hammer" the small nail which was me, into the system, and it was flipping painful. But I left college later with A's in a good few O levels, 9 if I remember rightly, and maths - a B, and head held high. But to this day, I remember the agony of walking to the window of the school to see my results with my mum, knowing what they would say, and just wanting to die.

My learning style is quite practical actually. I learn by both doing, watching, listening and then reading - in that order. I don't think it's just a man thing. Schools are big now - and have been for oodles of years, on finding out what your learning style is, and then going with it. No shame, we're all different.
So why doesn't the church adapt and take this "no-brainer" stuff on board? For example, I know that if I don't preach exegetically - in the standard "Spurgeonic" way, that I will get complaints. I've somehow committed the 8th deadly sin somehow by having the same aim of teaching the bible and it's principles if I go about it differently in a small group study or discussion. Same result? You bet! If not better than the one church learning style of the sermon!

Am I having a downer on the sermon? Yes, no, maybe! There are thousands upon thousands of better preachers than me. I've noticed different congregation reactions in 25 years of preaching. How lovely and wonderful= naff sermon Pastor! Silence - nothing said = you possibly borred me! Anger and animated responses = you really hit home, and because of that I'm cross with you, so you'd better hear what I've got to say!

I have a love-hate relationship with the exogetical sermon. Spurgeon's spewed us all out of the college sausage machine saying "this is it, walk ye in it!" [or else]. I'd probably get criticised left, right and centre in the sermon class we all underwent. But hey, ho! This last sunday I merely preached on a difficult passage, didn't go to the door and went quietly to my office and desk, sat for 5 minutes, then put my coat on, gathered the kids, and went home. I didn't want to hear anything feedback. Not sure why, but I just needed to.

So what's your learning style?

To upgrade or stick - January resolutions

For a good few years now I have become increasingly disillusioned with January!
Actually, that's one of those sentences designed to shock, rather than give any insight into anything too deep. But what I mean is this rather depressing habit people have of making New Year Resolutions. I mean - "just don't do it!"
Actually I'm overstating my argument here in order to make a point. And in truth I don't totally mean what I say. Clearly for some, resolutions are a very positive step. But for the vast majority of folk, resolutions crash out within 6 weeks of making them. That is of course why the local gym adverts will have been prominent since Christmas, as they cash in on guilty consciences of over indulgence, and are very pleased to take anyone's money, thank you very much (chink, chink!).
But it's that "no brain" or "reactionary" approach to new year resolutions, rather than the reflective, considered, and yes prayerful, that I just cannot abide! And the media is geared up to catch us - upgrade (your life) NOW! And sit back, having made that easy tick of the box, and watch what happens. And yes, instinctively, the leaving behind of an old year - with all of its joys and sorrows, somehow adds to the momentum in people that what they REALLY must do is upgrade to something new. Leave behind the negative or the difficult, and try something different that, in a matter of days, will amazingly and miraculously, totally transform your life to what you have always dreamed it should be! Do it! Yes now! Upgrade! And do it (in these days) with cash you don't have, because what really counts is how you feel!

So for me, now, January is a time to actually rest, and reflect and consider, but not to do drastic stuff. Yes, by all means consider and build towards some kind of change and decision that is a positive one, and which will bring lasting change for the better (and not always something that is easy). But never make a snap decision.
And this way of reflection and pondering is the way of the Christian disciple. And actually, the way of the snap, frantic, no brain decision, is very much not!
So thats how I'm starting 13! God Bless you in this year ahead.