I am learning alot at the moment - it's the season that I am going through. I am learning what I need,or what God thinks I need, not what I necessarily want. The sociological difference of these two words is always very different!
There are two pieces of scripture that are very much in my mind at this time.
Ecclesiastes 3 New International Version (NIV)
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
And the second scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:11
11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
I am finding that this is and needs to be a season where personal growth is the aim. We all go through seasons emotionally and spiritually. Seasons can arrive for all kinds of reasons - because God wants it to be so, or allows it to happen, to test and refine us - for character growth and for the future, and because baggage and issues bring us to that point of change and therein personal growth.
I am finding that I need for my own sanity re-evaluate in a slower pace of life the things that have been happening. As a Pastor, that's very difficult. We lead such hugely pressurised lives - at times it feels that everyone and thing wants a part of me. We are forever balancing spinning plates and people's expectations of what they think we should be doing - their expectations, are pretty much always too much and not realistic. Out of interest, there is a key question here - "Who Pastor's the Pastor?" I won't explore this hugely just now, but in Baptist Ministry, the pastoral care is a huge question. It is often reactive, not pro-active, and pretty much, and in my view sadly, we are left to our own devices by the BU to sort out our own support structures and caring. We are Professionals as Pastor's, but I know of no other profession where support is not properly present - supervision, spiritual direction. And in these days of economic squeeze, and other priorities, we are all finding that we need more support, and more encouragement and off loading of the things that are happening to us on the coal face of local church ministry.
But here is what is happening for me: The season I am is teaching me that my priorities have been wrong. Before I would do or die anything at a drop of a hat in my ministry as a Pastor, running to respond to this or that situation or project or meeting. But now, I cannot do that because my priorities have all been wrong. My priority in my life is God - my personal walk with him, and closely followed by total priority of my wife Claire and our family of 3 children. They need me and I must and want to be there for them. And then follows my work as a Pastor of a church and all that entails. I'm not going to give an extensive list here, but I know that for some what I have written may be upsetting, but I'm sorry my faith in God is paramount - my walk as a disciple, and my wife and family are a total priority, and they need me and deserve not second best, but primary place!
God is growing me in other areas of my life too. He is challenging me and I am not finding that all together easy. But it is spiritual, emotional and personal growth, and I am in his hands. What better place can there be in this season?
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